Posted by Phoenix1 on January 14, 2008, at 19:51:19
In reply to Re: Bringing items to therapy » muffled, posted by Maxime on January 14, 2008, at 17:42:12
> M, I always have a razor blade in my pocket, but he doesn't know. I just need it with me.
>
> Maxime
>
>
> > ROFL!!! Used to bring my knife. Stayed in my pocket though...
> > My T knew I had it and didn't say NOT to bring it. She knew it was just like a security blanet for me is all.
> > I think I will bring a board game, or cards, mebbe tomorrow!
> > I too have showed my T pics one time for sure.
> > One time I brought her a muffin.
> > She gave me a shell one time.
> > Its all nice.
> > M
>
>Hi Maxime,
Not sure how you use the trigger warning thing or if I needed to use it here...
Why don't you want to tell him you have the razor blade with you at all times? Seems awfully pertinent to me. Do you not trust him or are you worried about how he will react? Or is it a control thing, as in if you have the blade and no one knows, you always have control over whether or not to cut, and no one can take that control away from you. I understand needing to feel in control of SOMETHING, and being petrified of losing that control. It makes a lot of sense in some ways, and is totally irrational in other ways, isn't it? Anyways, just guessing but maybe you can explain better.
I used to ALWAYS carry a nearly lethal quantity of benzos with me "just in case". (Seriously, enough to render an elephant unconscious for a long long time) I couldn't leave the house without it. I talked this out with my psychiatrist at some length. I don't do this anymore, because I trust him, and he says if I am having severe anxiety, he will take care of it no matter when he gets the call. And I really believe him.
It's nice not feeling like I need to carry those drugs around with me. Freeing in a way. Anyways, just a thought.
Phoenix1
poster:Phoenix1
thread:806473
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080114/msgs/806521.html