Posted by DAisym on June 29, 2007, at 16:36:36
In reply to Re: Clarification -- more triggers » DAisym, posted by fiji on June 29, 2007, at 15:37:30
Antigua,
This might be really obvious - but have you had a complete physical? The way you describe the body sensations could certainly be hormonal shifts, perhaps peri-menopausal in nature, that set off your amigdala in a fright response. One of the first things that happens with fear is heat. The hot flashes (or just heated up stuff) that happens during hormonal shifts could be causing this. A few other physical causes could be weight gain making your clothes fit just a little tighter, which increases the friction on arousal parts of your body - or swelling in these sensitive areas. I'm also thinking of what you wrote about the mess and wetness (yes, that was a very awful part for me too) and increased discharge for a variety of biological reasons could trigger this cycle of memory responses as well.
I think sometimes, as survivors, we think almost everything going on is mental, when sometimes it really might be rooted in the biological. I'm encouraging you to have a complete physical and get your hormone levels tested.
OK - all that said, the whole thing stinks. And because it is so physically based and driving you crazy, I think you might revisit your pdoc and ask for something to lessen the feeling. Maybe your body does have to release these memories, but perhaps you need to do it more slowly and in more of a controlled way. I'm hoping there is something that would dampen down these feelings.
You are so not a freak. I can't begin to tell you the amount of times I've felt arousal in the middle of a memory and I'm so ashamed and apalled at myself. Makes no difference that I "know" this is part of the memory. I want to control it and I don't want it to happen.
And I'm very glad for you (and jealous) that you have a good sex life apart from these memories and sensations. That must have taken a lot of work.
poster:DAisym
thread:766397
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070628/msgs/766755.html