Posted by finelinebob on January 10, 2007, at 23:37:52
In reply to Re: does anyone else cut? (possible trigger) » youngaddict, posted by B2chica on January 10, 2007, at 11:46:34
I don't cut. I don't know why men don't cut anywhere near as much as women, but there are other ways to hurt yourself. For me these days it's sleep deprivation. It's not so bad now as when I was still unemployable and deep inside a hole dug by two airplanes turned into bombs and the PTSD that came from being there -- those days I'd do 80-90 hours awake in a row. Now that I have a job, a really good job, again ... I'll still do 40-50 hours even in the middle of the week sometimes.
I don't know what a 'coping mechanism' is -- I don't know what that's supposed to mean. I *do* know that when the urge is upon me as it is right now, I know that I can replace one pain with another -- one that **I** cause, one **I** control in the place of something I feel helpless, defenseless against.
But that's the rub -- it's only perceived control. I'm not really in control when I give into it. If I wanted to exercise some control, I'd find some relief for the original pain rather than replace it with something I'm doing to myself right here right now.
Perceptions can be more real than reality at times, tho.
If this is "coping" ... well, I don't know what to say to that.
poster:finelinebob
thread:719703
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070103/msgs/721242.html