Posted by Scentedgarden on January 10, 2007, at 8:50:13
In reply to Re: after first appt of the year i feel like im dy » Scentedgarden, posted by Dinah on January 10, 2007, at 6:54:18
thanks dinah , but this is more ....im so hurt that i know zero of her, and now ive spent money to find out more and it was a waste of money...
i think i have to hate her to survive this now...
we are ending soon supposed to be in 3 sessions...but she said shed extend the final date as id asked her to but she has come back from hols with boundaries sky high...and befoire hols she was all over me like a rash...remember my previous posts on the sexual attraction thing that goes on with us...i know you dont have that thing and only see as a parent but i have a little girl inside of me who sees her as her mummy too, and right now i cant face her again...i hate long goodbyes...and i hate her for f*cking about with the boundaries..i know she does it because she likes me...but i have to fight her so much just to treat me like a normal human being...sometimes other times like one day she said maybe shed tell me everything about her life..then next day she regretted saying it...and said she shouldnt habe ssaid it...i know she cares alot for me, and i hte her now...i hate her as a dr. as thats all i know an di just want to walk away but she has worked so hard on me she will be hurt, and i plan to nwrite a book on my therapy so how can i end the book if i dont have a proper ending.....? so if i keep going it will only be to come across as normal with no hang ups, as i know if i tell her im leaving she will just say thats my illness. and so on it goes...i know all this but im not coping with it well im in bed and i cant hardly be bothered to move or think of anything else andonly cry and feel like a nobody...who is going to be abandoned soon and i feel my therapy will be a waste of time after all these years.....
poster:Scentedgarden
thread:720991
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070103/msgs/721019.html