Posted by ClearSkies on December 6, 2006, at 7:50:59
In reply to My Mom is RESISTING **suicide abuse triggers*****, posted by LlurpsieBlossom on December 5, 2006, at 23:57:17
My mother is incapable of processing what I have tried to talk to her about. First she was defensive, then she was guilt-ridden and chose not to speak to me, for fear of "upsetting" me, and now she is sad. It was up to me to tell her that I wasn't expecting anything more than her acknowledgement that I and my siblings had been raised in a household fraught with mental illnesses that would not be spoken of, ever. When I suggested that she needed professional help, she replied that it wasn't something she wanted to do. End of story.
My T helped me see that this is HER stuff, not mine. That my expectations were higher than she can ever meet. And that I have to continue on my own journey no matter what. That really hurt, but I have accepted it, mostly, pretty much, OK not all the time. It still hurts.
I guess I'm saying that you might be beating your head against a wall by expecting too much of your mom. After all, this is the same coping behaviour she had while all this bad stuff was going on, right?
CS
poster:ClearSkies
thread:710023
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061123/msgs/710811.html