Posted by wishingstar on November 29, 2006, at 21:46:07
In reply to Re: im still around » ElaineM, posted by wishingstar on November 29, 2006, at 17:16:35
I'm just adding this on to my old thread even though its a seperate issue because I dont think it really deserves a new thread.. its really just a passing thought.
Ginny suggested the other day that even though I say I was happy and doing well through college, that maybe even then I wasnt really happy.. just not as depressed as now. She thinks maybe I've never really been actually happy.
It makes me think a lot. Right now, I'm feeling okay. I dont have that terrible heavy feeling that depression gives me.. the feeling that I just cant do anything, cant get out of bed, etc. I dont feel particularly bad. But at the same time, I still want to die, just in a more passive way. I feel fine, but I still dont really want to be alive.
It's scary because I dont think I know where happy is. Where's the line between depressed, manic, and "normal"? I FEEL okay, but when youre happy, you shouldnt still want to die, right? Is my baseline off?
Ginny seemed surprised when I said this not knowing is scary. It isnt the word she expected. I cant really say why, but it is.
poster:wishingstar
thread:707934
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061123/msgs/708822.html