Posted by sunnydays on November 19, 2006, at 21:42:29
In reply to Re: please.... » sunnydays, posted by madeline on November 19, 2006, at 13:33:34
> Sunny,
>
> It sounds as though our therapy progression is very similar.
>
> I so wanted my therapist to be my dad. I just wanted to sit in his lap and have him make all the bad stuff just go away. I wanted to go to his house for thanksgiving and the holidays.**** yes, that's exactly what I think I want sometimes
>
> Dealing with that was very very hard for me. It came with the realization that the care I had has a child was horrible and I had been cheated. The parenting I was entitled to as a human being I did not get.**** Thank you. I have a hard time believing I was entitled to it. And then when I realize I was and didn't get it, it just makes me horribly, horribly sad.
>
> The grief, the longing and the frustration was almost overwhelming and I channeled it all into my therapist.
>
> I got through it and you will too.
>***** Thank you. Can you elaborate more what you meant about channeling it through your therapist? That's what I do I think. I think all the feelings are about him, but really they're about what I wanted and never got.
> Self soothing is important, but it is also a natural human trait to reach out to others for comfort and reassurance.
>
> We should have gotten our fill of this reasurance and safety as children and, as a result, should be better able to cope with things as adults. But we didn't. So we have to deal with life without the confidence to face adversity that others have.
>
> So we deal with THAT as adults and it's okay.
>
> Love your therapist, miss your therapist and deepen your attachement to them. For me, it formed the basis for the confidence that I was lacking.
>
> Yes, you are trying to recreate something that you missed as a child, but it is SUCH A NECESSARY thing for humans, that you need it in your life.
>
> Take care of yourself and know that you will be sad a lot. But that sadness isn't a bad thing.
> Cry, let it all out and then you will begin to live again.
>
> The light at the end of tunnel is in sight.
>
> Maddie
***** Thank you Maddie. Your post was so helpful. I don't feel so alone.sunnydays
poster:sunnydays
thread:705101
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061109/msgs/705386.html