Posted by Lindenblüte on November 12, 2006, at 12:21:24
My pdoc told me something that resonated with me. I was complaining to him about feeling sluggish. He asked me how my anxiety was, and I said that it was pretty good.
He said that I probably make it through my day by running on anxiety. Now that I'm not feeling antsy and anxious, I am having problems motivating myself. He's SO right. My eyes grew wide when he said that, and I asked him- well? What should I do if I don't feel motivated? How am I going to keep going if I don't feel any pressure?
Pdoc drew the line between pdockery and psychotherapy at this point. Said that my T can help me figure out such issues.
So, I have this problem- I can use stimulants to push me over the edge from alert to antsy- and then I will get things done. Unfortunately, this reliance on stimulants leaves me feeling queasy and exhausted. Stimulant of choice = caffeine. Am I creating my own anxiety? If it feels so bad, why do I keep doing this? How can I learn to listen to my body when it says- one cup of coffee in the am. one cup of tea in the pm. I like how these beverages taste, and initially, I like the happy happy feeling they give me. But now, some 2 hours after drinking 32 oz of coffee, I am feeling really queasy and shaky and ill. Now I feel like sh*t, and worse-- because I know it's self-inflicted. I'm supposed to be learning how NOT to self-inflict bad feelings. I feel myself slipping back into this state of semi-panic, when I can hear little creepy-crawlies and my usual tremor is magnified. the pressure in my chest, etc. All the classic anxiety symptoms. ugh.
I'm a caffeine junkie. There, I said it.
what now? how can T help me with this?
-Li
poster:Lindenblüte
thread:702827
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20061109/msgs/702827.html