Posted by daisym on August 31, 2006, at 12:43:33
In reply to Re: Ouch my head hurts » Daisym, posted by llrrrpp on August 30, 2006, at 21:04:30
****Once I had an anxiety attack. Seriously. I never had an anxiety attack at the dentist's office, or the gyno? Why T?
****I can only guess, but if you are anything like me, the anxiety comes from knowing you are going to be face with those darn *feelings* and not just your thoughts. I can think my way out of most anything -- especially when I can figure out what the other person wants from me. But in therapy, all he wants is the truth and he wants my inner dialogue to be shared in as much an unedited fashion as possible. Now this unnerves me -- what if he gets mad at what I say? What if I make him sad? What if...(there are thousands of these questions.) So my anxiety comes from what I'm about to say, do and feel. The irony is that it is self-chosen torture. *sigh*
****Would it be easier if I lied and pretended that everything was fine? made up a little song and dance every week? stored up the memorably amusing, trite things that happened for easy and non-emotional regurgitation? Am I only bringing up the dredges because I like to suffer?
I'm going to channel my therapist for you here: "most people do not come singing and dancing into therapy. Those people don't need me. What purpose would it serve for you to come in and pretend everything is fine? Why would you want to do that? This IS the place to dredge stuff up - this is where it is safe to feel it and talk about it and explore it. I KNOW you are a capable, smart, funny person. That isn't why you are here." He makes a lot of sense and believe me, we have this conversation about every six months where I say things like, "you must think people are nuts to trust me to work with their kids, or run a company." He always shakes his head and says he knows about the competent part. But he wants to hear from the other parts. And I am so relieved.
I hear this work gets easier. I hope so...
poster:daisym
thread:681522
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060826/msgs/681722.html