Posted by llrrrpp on August 30, 2006, at 20:49:01
In reply to Re: Ouch my head hurts, posted by caraher on August 30, 2006, at 19:10:05
> > Oh, and I cried about how I can't tell my husband when I'll be ready to have a baby, because I want to have a PhD first? And I feel like all our plans as a couple and a family are resting on my ability to finish this f*cking PhD. Hmm. gee, I wonder why I'm depressed. Well. Have a baby, buy a house, get a job. When did this become so stressful? I used to look forward to this stuff.
>
> It's hard to finish a PhD... is there some special reason you need to tell him an "exact date?" Isn't just agreeing on a reasonable sequence of plans good enough? I guess I worry that you'll have trouble finishing your degree if you make it seem like too big a thing. If you're constantly thinking, "My whole future depends on getting this done soon!" that's too much pressure, as well as distorted thinking.yes. the reason I need a date or an approximation is that currently I am in a long-distance relationship. Husband is in the military. I see him every few weeks for a week or two. He misses me dearly and gives me the feeling that if I were to move, everything would be all right. And I feel so guilty because I feel at some level like I'm choosing my work over my happiness. My PhD over my family. And I wonder if I'm just making things too hard just because I'm resisting...my future?
> One nice thing about seeing a psychologist as a T when you're a grad student - they've done a PhD, too! My T used to talk about how much she hated her dissertation...We haven't had that discussion (yet), but I think he has some experience working with students, so there's a lot of common vocabulary.
> How far along are you? You might want to check out this support board for people trying to finish: http://www.phinished.org/When I get to a point where I can stop crying for more than a few moments I will try to read it seriously. It looks very promising though. I know it's been suggested to me before. I'm starting to get to a point where I *want* to work again, rather than a point where I *need* to work. I will hold out for one of those moments of clarity before getting involved in meeting a new set of online folks.
Thank you so much for your kind suggestions- oh crap! I was trying to find a nice way to sign off this post and I started crying again. the kindness of strangers. gets me everytime. :o/
-ll
poster:llrrrpp
thread:681522
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060826/msgs/681602.html