Posted by LadyBug on August 7, 2006, at 15:24:18
In reply to can't make myself go =:::( » LadyBug, posted by ElaineM on August 7, 2006, at 11:51:05
(((((((Elaine)))))))
Your pain and suffering brings me to tears. I wish you could have some kind of relief. Let your T come to you and hold you tight. Pain is so awful, both mental and physical. I do think that physical pain doesn't last forever? But the mental pain comes and goes but really never stays away completly. I know my health isn't the greatest and I've never really thought how horrible it could get until the last few weeks. I don't like feeling "out of it". And that's what I've felt like for 3 weeks now.
I just got home from seeing my T. I wanted to see her before I have to go back to work. I was going to go back to work tomorrow but I only slept for about 1 1/2 hours last night, or I should say this morning becasue I didn't fall asleep until about 7:00 a.m. until 8:00 a.m. and I woke up to call and leave my T a voice mail telling her I was planning on coming in to see her at the hour she offered me for today.
My visit with her was wonderful in the fact that we work so hard to understand each other. I felt like she had pushed me away last week when I saw her. It hurt and I was pissed at her. I explained myself to her and she explained why she said and did what she did. I think we worked it out so we both understand the other one. It's incredible how well we do. She said she appreciated me coming in and telling her how I was feeling and not keeping it to myself. I felt like a million bucks when I left. I called and left her a voice mail and said, "I want to Thank You with all my heart, I appreciate you so much, we do well, thanks."
I want yout T to comfort you. It doesn't matter if you don't look your best. But I'd worry too if I didn't have make up on and have my hair done. That's one of the biggest reasons I didn't have my T come over to see me after my surgeries, I didn't want her to see me looking gross. I showered everyday, but most days I didn't do my hair and I didn't bother with makeup. I regret not having her come over cuz I may never have that opportunity again. I am planning on having a knee replacement sometime in the next year. I've put it off for some time now due to lack of good insurance. I was shooting for Sept. but after what I've just gone through, I'm thinking January sounds better. Time will tell. If I didn't have to work, my knee wouldn't bother me enough to have it replaced. But my job kills me from head to toe. And I can't stand the pain anymore.I'm glad you're praying. I kow that feeling of pouring out your heart and soul for some relief and comfort. I am a religous person and I do find comfort in prayer like nothing else. I don't do it enough though.
Sorry this is so long, I'm sleep deprived and my mind is going a million miles an hour.
Get feeling better. I bet the anti-biotics are hurting your stomach too. I'm so sorry. I hope your T comes to see you, you need him right now.
Let me know how you're doing ok?
Gentle Hugs,
LadyBug
poster:LadyBug
thread:673681
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060721/msgs/674576.html