Posted by caraher on July 26, 2006, at 8:39:14
In reply to Re: I love my shrink (***trigger***) » caraher, posted by Tamar on July 26, 2006, at 5:18:55
> Thanks! Well, it’s taken me a very long time, but the publisher is pleased that I’ve finally finished. I’m not so sure. I’m terrified that people will read it and think it’s awful…
Not likely!
> I just wondered whether you’re not sure what to say because you find my talk of an inner 18 year-old a bit weird, or whether it’s because you don’t identify with her problems, or maybe something else?
>
> I just wondered if it’s the first thing, because I know my husband feels uneasy about the idea. It’s as if he doesn’t know quite what I mean by it and doesn’t want to encourage me to think weird thoughts. I can certainly understand why he feels that way and I’m fine with that. It isn’t part of his experience and it doesn’t make sense to him, and that’s fine.
>
> Anyway, I was vaguely curious about whether you’re coming from a similar place. Of course, you don’t have to answer my questions, and any answer you might choose to give will be absolutely OK.In some ways, I think I may have *only* an inner 18-year-old. ;) It may be simply a matter of what metaphors "work" best in describing our inner experiences.
The way you write about getting along fairly well in therapy, then becoming upset when the 18-year-old gets brought up, is different from my own experience. The closest I get to that is if I think about myself when I was ten or younger, in that this is the only "other self" I relate to. That self is the self I feel I *should* be in many ways, the self I feel I've disappointed or betrayed when I feel I've accomplished too little. But he doesn't feel like a living "other self." I have many of his values and beliefs, but he was far more confident, optimistic and resilient than I am. I feel like he's dead, living only as a memory without any ongoing emotions.
So I guess it's mostly that I don't understand how you see the relationship between "you" and the 18-year-old. I tend to think she's a portion of your inner life you tend not to ordinarily reveal, perhaps because that part is especially vulnerable. She's the part that needs a loving father, the support you perhaps didn't get when you were actually an adolescent. I can understand the references to her on that level. But sometimes your talk about her makes her sound more separate from "you" than anything I've experienced myself.
poster:caraher
thread:670462
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060721/msgs/670666.html