Posted by kerria on May 28, 2006, at 17:26:36
In reply to Re: Need help- living with rejection by T » kerria, posted by nellie7 on May 28, 2006, at 14:06:09
Thank you Nellie.
About two weeks ago the my current T was on vacation and left my prior T as the covering T and i saw him for a visit.
i was hoping he could explain how he acted- he even hung up on me twice after that event- with the people outside. T offered no explaination and kept saying "The therapy relationship is beyond repair" over and over as i told him what a wreck i am because of how heartless he was towards me-how much it hurt me that he didn't stand up for me that time and so many other times- some times i was an inpatient at his hospital. That was a topic that came up a lot also the past three years.
It doesn't bother him - i don't think- that he's the only one who can talk to my parts and how hard a time i'm having. He's like that- he doesn't care about me. That's why i had to leave him.
It hurts so much to talk about it.
The T i have now has heard about it from parts- there is one that's completely distraught and i don't know how to help.
The sad part is that my h is also tired of being with me now- it feels so sad and we feel so unloved and alone in everything. It's saping my capacity to do anything. i'm missing work, having a hard time switching into the work part, getting to work, facing the medical stuff is too hard.
It feels so unfair and even unethical that T was like this to me. i feel like he abandoned me because of his uncaring attitude made me not able to go to him anymore. It's so unfair.
i guess i have to forget it and try to find a T that can help but that's so hard because we're so upset now. what else can i do? If i go back to him he will only hurt me again and again- i have to NOT EVER go back. He's an uncaring critical T and he's not going to change. The last time i left but went back when it became so hard but he didn't become any more sensitive to my feelings. Hurting me is no problem. He's done trauma therapy too long maybe- hardened his heart against clients. He doesn't call them 'clients' he calls them 'patients'- a class below that doesn't matter as much the rest of the human race.
i want to find support so much- i don't want to ever go back to him and let him hurt me like this ever again.
He knows how much he hurt me- he doesn't care:(Thanks for writing- i have to find a way to put this away- it's too hard now to feel so hurt. i feel that he damaged me so much by his non acceptance of parts and critical attitude against me when i couldn't have helped how parts acted.
kerria and all inside so hurt by this guy
poster:kerria
thread:649384
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060526/msgs/649836.html