Posted by B2chica on September 30, 2005, at 9:06:56
had to go to crisis center again. luckily i called at the last minute (i'd completed three of the four steps and all the blood scared me and i called a crisis number.)
anyway, i lied to get out, i'm still suicidal but i don't want to act. i'ts like it's some outside force telling me i have to act. i see pdoc tomorrow so maybe reajust meds???
anyway, in order to get out of that crisis center i had to agree to be committed to the community mental health center on an outpatient basis...(actual little hearing and everything). i had no choice if i wanted out. so i agreed. now my life is in the hands of someone i don't know and certainly don't trust. my T's gonna try to gain a supervisory position but the guy that talked with him said it's out of his hands.
i'm so scared...cubic me you KNOW how i HHHAAATTTEEE groups. now it's once a week on saturdays. i'm glad i don't have to take off more work but it's not fair that i have to pay for something i'm being FORCED to attend.
i HATE groups!
well...i guess i did pray about my outcome so i'm hoping there is a reason for this.three words i was able to get out to my T yesterday....i don't want to die.
i was so drunk and drugged, i was so out of it, had the paramedics not come....i just can't even think. this was too close. it's snapped me into reality.
no matter HOW hard, i'm going to fight these feelings with all i have. it's Sooooooo hard though.
still having S. feelings but...someone above asked to know if anyone has had successful dbt?
i'd like to know that answer too. i'm hoping i only have to go for a few months.
please give me some hope.b2c.
poster:B2chica
thread:561227
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050920/msgs/561227.html