Posted by JenStar on May 24, 2005, at 17:52:45
In reply to Re: Emotional nurturing of ourselves » messadivoce, posted by pinkeye on May 24, 2005, at 17:03:36
Pinkeye,
it's so hard to stand by silently when you know someone else is making a mistake or doing something wrong. I can understand how frustrated you get with your dad & hubby sometimes! I feel very lucky b/c I have a husband with whom I can argue and debate, and I "win" the debates at least 50% of the time! I mean, we don't fight viciously or anything. But if we disagree about something, we can talk it out, or argue it out, and sometimes in the end he agrees to do things my way. And sometimes I agree to do things his way. But it's 50/50.I think the more intelligent and insightful someone is, the more they need to be respected and have their good ideas respected. Pinkeye, you seem to be very smart & well-rounded...it must be so frustrating to have your ideas discounted by the men in your life b/c of a cultural bias!
Is there any chance your husband could or would change, ever? Do you EVER see it getting to the point where you could debate something and change his mind about a big important decision for your family?
Are there other behavioral patterns that might get you more "say" in the relationship - for example, you said you never act bossy. Would acting bossy work sometimes? If you shouted, would that work? I'm not saying that acting bossy and shouting are my ways of getting attention, or that they are even "good" ways. But if you're usually meek and just say "yes,yes" -- would a bit of a shout get their attention? Or would it just make them dismiss you further as hysterical?
Just wondering about the cultural issues.
JenStar
poster:JenStar
thread:502288
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050521/msgs/502387.html