Posted by pinkeye on May 23, 2005, at 15:06:14
Yesterday I wrote an email after sometime to my ex T again.
And I started having nightmares.. Yesterday night I woke up at 4 and started crying in the bathroom again.
Part of me deeply associates my exT with my dad. I was so scared of his anger yesterday night.. I was really scared like he would shout at me, or reply and use extremely cruel words or tell me he hated me etc.
And I think it is complete trasnsference from my dad. I used to be so very afraid of my dad when I was young.. pretty much the only thing I remember from childhood so much is fear about my dad. Fear that he would be angry with me, that he would not like me, that he would hate me.. And I am projecting it onto my ex T big time.
PArt of me relates on a more adult level with my exT, but a part of me still thinks I am a child. And such a scared child. I have cried 4 times since yesterday already.
poster:pinkeye
thread:501789
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050521/msgs/501789.html