Posted by Tamar on May 11, 2005, at 16:59:24
In reply to upset, posted by Shortelise on May 11, 2005, at 16:14:07
Well, if he really wanted you to do the job, he could have called you on Monday, like he agreed, or returned your call on Tuesday. He’s already treating you with less respect than you deserve before he’s even convinced you to work with him! And if he didn’t realize that you would be annoyed about having been f@#$%^& with six years ago, then it’s about time he thought about it. If he’s upset, that’s his issue, not your responsibility. I bet he gets his own way all the time by making people feel guilty about hurting his feelings.> I really want to phone my T, but also feel I shouldn't. I talked to my husband, who even with his arms around me couldn't comfort me - he held me like a grocery bag, like a camera, not like a woman who needed comfort, though I know he wanted to comfort me. I feel like there is no one who can comfort me, not even me, and I want to know if my T would, if I would come away from a phone call with him feeling comforted. I'm afraid I wouldn't, because he is withdrawing from me.
LOL! I am familiar with that ‘grocery bag’ feeling. It’s not the best.
Would your T comfort you? Or would he attempt to analyse you?
> I would like to be able to deal with this small crisis on my own. Could it be that I want an excuse to phone my T? That I miss him? That I'm letting this upset me more than it would so I can call him? On the other hand, I do want to be able to handle stuff, I want to let the five weeks between visits elapse without talking with him. I really have felt pretty ok about not seeing him. So, am I unjustly accusing myself of overreacting?
As you know, I enjoy a good excuse to call my T as much as the next woman. But I don’t think you’re over-reacting. It’s a blast from the past that has hit you hard, possibly because things were more difficult for you six years ago.
IMHO it’s OK to call your T on this one --- but you might want to think about precisely what you expect of him. He might not comfort you and he might not make you feel less like a grocery bag. On the other hand, he might help you process the strong feelings you are experiencing. If that would help you, go ahead and call. It isn’t a sign of weakness to need your T when something unexpected and distressing happens. That’s what Ts are for.> I think I'll just go in the other room and chase my tail around and then flop on the floor and pant, just like my cat does. Maybe that'll clarify things.
Yes, but will someone put down a saucer of milk for you?
Let us know whether you decide to call.
Tamar
poster:Tamar
thread:496521
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050504/msgs/496541.html