Posted by LauraG on April 13, 2005, at 22:30:03
Hi everyone! I haven't posted much or for quite a while. I need some advice. Last week we had to put our precious cocker spaniel to sleep as her cancer had progressed. I am devastated. I called my T (who convinced me a year ago to join a therapy group she was starting) and told her I wasn't coming to group b/c we had put the dog to sleep the day before. She had previously been very understanding, supportive, and comforting when I talked in individual sessions about my dog having cancer. I thought she'd be supportive of my staying home to grieve.
Generally in this group we are allowed to miss two sessions without having to pay, but they have to be "legitimate" reasons. I was so sure this was legitimate! Apparently, I was wrong. Even though I had seen her this week for individual session and she never said anything then, my T felt that I should have come to group the day after I put my dog to sleep so I could cry in front of everyone. Okay, intimacy as far as sharing feelings is one of my issues, I don't do it very well. But COME ON! I was ready to talk about it in group today! I'm sure I would have cried, I've been crying everyday! But to penalize me by making me pay for missing last week? Could she be any more cold and heartless? And I wonder if it's b/c I told her I appreciated what she said before we put the dog to sleep, that it was comforting.
She commented that this is how she makes her living. So why am I suddenly responsible for HER bottom line?! I have not missed ONE group session in that past year. That was thrown in my face too. Why did I not miss? Was I trying to accumulate "points" in case I needed them to get out of paying if I missed for a not really legit. reason? That really made me mad!
Am I wrong? I can see her point about avoiding showing my strongest feelings to others, but to punish me for wanting to grieve for my dog who has been my only child for almost 8 years? And to accuse me of trying to gain favor or something by showing up to all the past sessions? I feel like why am I even bothering with her, she seems to not really know me at all after 3 years! I feel like calling and quitting both group and individual! I'm just SO mad at her! (Oh yeah, and she suggested that maybe it is easier for me to be mad at her than to deal with my feelings about my dog. I've been crying for a week! Everyday!)
I'm looking forward to reading any thoughts anyone has good or bad. I just can't figure out exactly what the heck she's thinking!
Thanks in advance!!!
poster:LauraG
thread:483953
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050409/msgs/483953.html