Posted by Susan47 on March 24, 2005, at 6:35:49
In reply to Re: Wish I could write » pinkeye, posted by Dinah on March 23, 2005, at 17:51:07
Funny you should put into words so succintly what I do too. Oh, yes, Terminate me, T. Reject me, here, no here, dear T, allow me to make myself unpresentable, unworkable, the most difficult client you've ever had just so that you have to reject me. Because I know you'll do it anyway, I will have to go before I'm ready, I know that, so I might as well get it over with. Oh, you've been putting up with my phone calls for how long now? And you're still doing it? Let me try harder to become unacceptable.
No, it doesn't work for me, either. And remarkably, now, perhaps he won't hate me either. Today he told me he thought I was a lovely person. Wasn't that nice of him?
Bitter with life; I've hurt myself so much, done as much damage to myself, more even, than was ever done to me.
It's not his fault. He was confused. I'm confusing to everybody. Sigh. But I'm glad there're other people who're confused too. Selfish of me. So terribly selfish. I wish none of us were confused.
poster:Susan47
thread:474648
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050315/msgs/474872.html