Posted by Aphrodite on March 5, 2005, at 14:22:27
In reply to Re: Having it in writing » Aphrodite, posted by antigua on March 5, 2005, at 9:53:52
> You sound just like me--maybe it's the similarity in our childhoods, or maybe we're just like souls.
Probably both! I think abusive backgrounds breed mistrust.
>> I just cringe at the thought of hearing her words, as if I will be able to distort anything she says to my way of thinking. I don't know. If I have to hear it out loud, than it just may be true.
I am scared of it being true. I think I was trying to get him to admit that it wasn't because that's familiar. Now I get it -- he does care; what in the world am I supposed to do with *that*???
>
> I don't really know what happened, but this all changed in the last several weeks. I believe she cares about me and she told me she's not giving up. I think she modeled some great maternal behavior and we had some insights that I couldn't ignore. Maybe I'm overanalyzing, but getting back to trusting her was tremendously relieving.I bet it was a huge, healing relief for you. I'm glad she's giving you the protection you need and deserve.
>
> If I had it in writing, I'd keep reading it until it fell apart and I wouldn't be able to deny it.
>As an educator, I've seen the research a bazillion times that says information obtained by reading is stored in a different area of the brain where information is heard, so people need to learn in multiple ways. So, I got that he cared about me in two parts of my brain that finally clicked. And yes, I have read it so much that it's about to fall apart. Practically speaking, it works for him too because I go to it first if I am feeling the urge to call him after hours, and it is often all I need and the urge passes.
Antigua, I'm so happy things are better for you with your T. I know you felt unprotected by her, and it sounds like her steady presence has helped a lot. I hope it continues for you.
poster:Aphrodite
thread:466118
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20050305/msgs/467003.html