Posted by Skittles on December 30, 2004, at 0:22:18
I was telling my T today how exhausted I am from keeping up my facade and how I am not looking forward to my upcoming trip because we will be with family all the time and the facade must be constantly maintained. She said she's glad I'm tired of it because she doesn't think it's a very good idea.
But I think she completely misunderstood what I was getting at. My point was that with shopping, the holidays, and my upcoming trip there is no alone time and it's exhausting to keep up that facade for such a long time. Especially since I'm used to staying home pretty much all the time. It never occurred to me to do away with the facade completely.
Frankly, I can't even fathom the possibility. Well, I guess I *can* but it doesn't seem like an appealing option. First of all, being more genuine or transparent would lead to questions from the people in my life who think they deserve answers, but really don't. Second, the real me is absolutely no fun to be with. No one would hang around with her for long.
The thought of telling any of the people in my life exactly what is going on with me is a paralyzing prospect. Is it really necessary? I feel like I need the facade for self-preservation and privacy.
poster:Skittles
thread:435588
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041228/msgs/435588.html