Posted by Pandabear on October 12, 2004, at 20:00:27
Many years ago..(13), I did something that might have been reported but I dont think so...I was thirteen I didnt know any better and the only person I ended up hurting was myself. I have NEVER told anyone to this day and when my therapist announced to me that she thought I was going to be ending soon and not needing her anymore..it came into my mind that I had not talked to her about this issue and now, it was getting to late to talk to her so i had to bring it up.
I am So embarressed and ashamed for what I did...(I didnt do anything horribly wrong)...but, the fact that I have never told anyone makes it really difficult.
What I went through when I was 12 or 13 I no longer am doing so it is just something I want to get off my chest...It happened so long ago...you dont think this is something my therapist could report me on 13 years later if she thought it to be something worth reporting do you ?
Im serious when I say that I didnt do anything to hurt anyone but myself IM just scared to death. I dont know what or how she is going to react. I saved this for last because I knew that this was going to mess me up so badly that I was going to terminate myself possibly.
Im going tomorrow to meet with her after work and I am not going to tell her...I CANT...to me it is so bad that i think that if anyone were to know I would be shunned from society.
What is the worst thing a therapist hears? Whether it be someone talking of a violent act, or some sexual disorder...
to be honest, mine is a disorder but I dont have that problem anymore and I am just too ashamed to tell her that I once did...I dont know how much she hears of this stuff.
I feel like such a loser and im so ashamed i just want to hide. We have had such a close relationship in therapy for 2 years and I think to break this to her she would just fall out. She told me I can tell her anything but I think this would just freak her out...Im so paranoid...
I need some advice ..I dont know how to talk to her about this ....it was so long ago....I just experimented ...that was all..but i have never told anyone and I figured it was a good thing for me to tell her (my benefit)...but im scared at what action she might take or how she will respond.....iM so nervous.
Im NOT A BAD PERSON...Im normal...why do i feel so bad?
Pandabear
poster:Pandabear
thread:402365
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041002/msgs/402365.html