Posted by fallsfall on October 4, 2004, at 11:14:35
In reply to Re: Neither do I, posted by Speaker on October 4, 2004, at 9:51:36
I used to write pages of journalling every week and give it to my therapist. She would read it between sessions and sometimes ask me questions or comment. If it was important journalling she always at least acknowledged that she had read it.
Then I changed therapists. My new therapist doesn't want anything I've written (Correction, in 15 months he has asked to keep a copy of 1 thing I wrote). He doesn't even want me to bring it in and read it in the session (though he is getting a little more flexible on this, and I'm only asking to do it when it is really important). I asked in the beginning if he wanted copies of my journalling. He said I could give them to him, but that he would *not* promise to read them between sessions. So that if I couldn't handle knowing that he might not read them I shouldn't give them to him. I interpreted it to mean that he didn't want to give me any extra time outside of my sessions. But now that I know him better, I think that it is more that he wants *me* and *my reactions* more than he wants my thoughts. He works in the Here and Now (meaning this very minute, not last week) - so something I wrote 3 days ago is old news.
It was painful to go from my first therapist who viewed my journalling as a gift to my present therapist who wants nothing. But I no longer see it as him rejecting me or my journalling - he shows me that he cares in other ways. And last weekend I know that he spent significant time thinking about me and what we could do to get "unstuck".
So my therapist wouldn't want to watch the tape at all. If I forced the issue, he would want me to be there while he did so that he could see my reaction to the tape. We would probably have a 2 session long power struggle about it if I really wanted him to watch it, but wasn't willing to be present at the time (and I would lose in the end). I guess I'm just trying to say that different therapists have different views on these kinds of things. Your therapist sounds a lot like mine. I *know* that my therapist cares about me (even though he doesn't want my journalling), and I think that it is probably *not unlikely* that your therapist cares about you (even though he doesn't want to watch your tape). I really do hate these struggles with my therapist, but over time I am starting to understand how he works better and it does get easier.
poster:fallsfall
thread:398543
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041002/msgs/398789.html