Posted by Elle2021 on February 18, 2004, at 2:55:24
In reply to Re: I'm okay now » Elle2021, posted by All Done on February 17, 2004, at 23:55:26
>Do you see Burt soon?
I only see Burt once a month, and now I guess only for meds. I was supposed to see him about a week ago, but I cancelled the appointment. I didn't feel like talking to him about the change in therapists, etc. I probably won't see Begonia until the first week in March, as I have already had my allotted session with her this month. But, I'm going to have to give her a call tomorrow, because I depersonalized again this evening. Also, I think I'm experiencing a hypomanic episode. The past two days, I've been feeling like I'm the smartest person I know...(thats never a good sign). I've been catching myself thinking "grandiose thoughts" especially concerning my own intelligence. It's hard to explain, and the thoughts aren't exactly something I want to come right out and admit! :) There's been some other stuff with my speech too, that may also be considered hypomanic. Hopefully, she will talk to Burt and they can give me something.
May I ask - have you gotten anywhere with your mom in regards to your visits?
Only that she decided I could see either Burt OR Begonia once a month. I had been seeing Burt once a month and Begonia once a week. So, this is a major change for me. I'm going to *try* to get a job (and keep it...), so I can pay for some extra visits. I just have so much trouble with depression, that a job sounds so unrealistic at this point, but I want to continue therapy. I'm depersonalizing again... Ugh.
>If you have to wait a while to see them, do you have methods for coping?
I try to "carry them with me" that is, Burt and Begonia. Like I try to do the CBT in my head. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
>I find that I write more in my journal
I tried to journal once, but I can't keep up with it, plus I'm completely paranoid (actually I have good reason to think this, so I guess it's not paranoia) that my family will read my journals. They have read personal things of mine before, so I just don't even bother with it anymore. I'd really like to, but it causes too much stress and anxiety. I do, however, try to keep a mental note of all the things I want to discuss with my T and pdoc.
Thanks for posting to me, it's been helpful for me to get all this out. I'm really glad I was able to. How's your sweetie doing? Better? I hope so, I'll keep you both in my prayers. :)
Elle
poster:Elle2021
thread:314545
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040211/msgs/315004.html