Posted by Karen_kay on January 10, 2004, at 23:37:58
In reply to Is this Transference?, posted by Pandabear on January 10, 2004, at 21:09:09
Hiya! Your feelings aren't strange or unusual at all, at least I don't think so. I went through erotic transference with my therapist and talked with him about it openly. Just talking about it helped. We didn't have to discuss it in great detail every session for weeks on end to work through it. For me, it just somehow worked itself out (MAYBE??? MAYBE NOT? I still think he's yummy and I'd do him but I'm not in love with him anymore.) But I tend to more think of him as my new daddy, so we're working on this new issue. I even told him once during a session that he wasn't a very good father. After I realized what I said, I told him that I meant he wasn't a very good father to *me* and that I'm sure he's a wonderful father to his children (stupid kids :( (that's me being jealous, I know, I'm horrible but if they're my brothers and sisters they should get used to it, right!) (OMG! I hope he doesn't read this!)
Anyway! Thursday night I had a nightmare, and like you I too am *OVERLY* concerned about being needy, but in my nightmare I dreamed that he told me he was dying and I awoke Friday with such anxiety and held it as long as I could. But I knew that I had to call him and make sure he was OK or I would be a basketcase all weekend long. And he told me he was in great health and offered me a time slot, which I couldn't take because I didn't have makeup on, I'm such a dork :(...But the thing that really stands out is that he told me he wanted me to call him when I was emotional like that (be careful what you wish for!).
The point of the story (if there is one) is that sometimes what we think they don't want sometimes is what maybe they do? This whole time I've been stopping myself from getting emotional so that I wouldn't be needy and that's what he's been looking for. Maybe that could be the case as well? Maybe I've just wasted your time? If so, TOO BAD :) he he :) But, you should talk about your transference issues. I've always talked about mine. Although they are embarrassing, you can't work through them and fully understand what you need to gain from those feelings until you do!
Good luck, and continue posting! I'll keep giving long-winded posts that don't pertain to you :)
poster:Karen_kay
thread:299191
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040110/msgs/299251.html