Posted by Miller on November 12, 2002, at 6:50:54
In reply to mistake?, posted by likelife on November 11, 2002, at 22:02:03
Of course you are not the only one that has said or done something that you regret with your therapist.
I decided I was going to kill myself on Labor Day weekend. So I cancelled all of my appointments including the one with my psychologist for the Tuesday after. When I cancelled, he answered the phone (never happens unless I DON'T want to talk to him). I told him I just needed a break. He was with someone at the time so really couldn't talk. I could tell he was very irritated with me.
He called me the next day (at my job) and said if I really wanted to cancel the appointment, fine, but he was leaving the appointment open. If I came - great! If not, I didn't even have to call.
Well, Labor Day weekend came and I (obviously) did not kill myself. So now I was really embarrassed about the whole cancellation thing with my shrink. Should I suck it up and go to the appointment? Should I blow him off and continue on my miserable way without therapy?
I ended up writing a three page letter explaining alot of my frustrations and issues that I am uncomfortable with in therapy. I brought the letter with me to the session. I was so relieved. He did not make a big deal of the fact I was there, nor did he try to make me feel like crap for trying to cancel. I never told him the reason I had tried to cancel, but I think he was able to see my uncertainty more clearly after that.
All this is leading up to my advise to go see your therapist. As uncomfortable as you feel now, I bet it will all work out for the best. I am sure she realises your need for intimacy with her due to the relationship of counselor/patient. She will probably surprise you and this could be a GOOD turning point in your therapy.
Consider the absolute WORST scenerio. If it comes true (doubtful) than you move on or work from there.
Please let us know how it turns out. I, for one, think it is impressive that you were able to share so honestly with ANYONE. You should be applauded, not embarrassed.
-Miller
poster:Miller
thread:1523
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021109/msgs/1524.html