Posted by Pfinstegg on November 9, 2002, at 22:44:34
In reply to Re: Has anyone successfully lost a therapist? » Tabitha, posted by Dinah on November 9, 2002, at 20:00:30
Hi Dinah- that's a tough issue about leaving. If you KNOW he's leaving, you can direct your energy towards working through your rage and fears of abandonment- the thing that everyone has to do as therapy terminates. But if you just think he MIGHT be leaving, or even that there's a very small chance that he will, it raises all your fears of abandonment when it isn't necessarily going to happen at all.
Maybe the thing to do in your situation is to focus as much as you can on the fear and pain you feel even at the thought of losing him- YOUR feelings, rather than seeking reassurances about what the actual liklihood of it happening is- that sounds like a bottomless pit. The other thing I would suggest (having been through ALL of this myself) is to work on how much of him you are able to internalize and "take with you", even as your therapy with him is progressing- not just at the end of it. I think that is one of the main keys for successfully terminating therapy, don't you? My analyst from long ago pointed out to me that all the time we were working together, one of the tasks I had to accomplish was to learn to internalize his loving and understanding presence and carry it with me when I was not with him; the other task was to continually prepare for the fact that I would eventually terminate, and would not see him again. As it has worked out, although I have not seen him, I am in occasional touch with him by letter. I tell him about the news of my life, and he responds with a bit of news of his own, and a bit of encouragement! I value this amount of connection tremendously, but really do not need any more than that.
Well- I'm just sort of rambling..
Pfinstegg
poster:Pfinstegg
thread:1493
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20021109/msgs/1500.html