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Failed to Mention My Bulimia » Eilidh

Posted by WorryGirl on October 17, 2002, at 18:43:04

In reply to Re: What Am I Doing Wrong? - I Turn People Off, posted by Eilidh on October 17, 2002, at 16:34:21

Thanks for your response (and everyone else's, too). When I initially posted I didn't mention that I have had bulimia for 19 years. It is not nearly as severe as it was the first 10 years that I had it. At that time I wouldn't have gone to a therapist for a million dollars (stupid, huh?). When I became pregnant with my first child, I immediately realized that starving my body was a selfish thing to do when her life depended on my nourishment. Thus, my two pregnancies were uneventful and bulimia-free and thankfully my children had no abnormalities (at least not yet). I have returned to my bulimic ways, but weigh more now than I used to, and don't so much binge and purge as much as just eat with a healthy appetite and throw it up to keep me from being even fatter (I only do this at the end of the day).

> You mentioned you had seen a therapist before. Did he/she give you any feedback re your social skills, or try to role play any of this with you?

The therapist that I stopped seeing seemed completely unconcerned with my bulimia and seemingly treated it as an insignificant thing. I guess when I told him that it was not nearly as severe as it used to be he didn't consider it a problem.
As for my social skills, no, he didn't role-play. He gave me some feedback, but mostly just talked to me about the everyday events in my life. I did tell him that I preferred not to be medicated, and he was fine with that, but it felt like only the tiniest baby steps were being made.
I do think that a different therapist, psychologist or psychiatrist are in order, but I feel so unmotivated at the thought.
These days getting out of bed, feeding and interacting with my children are my only great milestones.
> It may also be the fact that your social skills are fine, but that you are trying a little too hard to be liked .This can be a little off-putting to others. Maybe you could look at the places you are meeting people - they may not be places where others would normally be expecting to form friendships.

Why is someone trying too hard so off-putting? I have a hard time acting like I don't care if I'm friends with someone or not. Anytime someone speaks to me, I'm often so enthusiastic that it obviously screams loser, but I can't help myself.
As Eddie mentioned, I think that I desire the friendships more when I am observing others' friendships from afar. If I actually had them I wonder if it would be too much. Just a thought.
When I socially interact with others, I feel so emotionally drained afterwards, because all I can think about is what I said wrong, etc.
Your thought about finding the right group therapy sounds the most enticing to me right now.


Thanks again. :)


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poster:WorryGirl thread:1309
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20020829/msgs/1319.html