Posted by alexandra_k on July 26, 2018, at 3:30:00
In reply to Re: Paul Jay » sigismund, posted by alexandra_k on July 25, 2018, at 21:02:36
the real rope bridge was like this:
only, it was a lot higher and the stream under was a lot smaller and rockier. we were only to go across one at a time because it would sway...
it seems very cruel to me, now.
i'm sure they wouldn't be allowed to do that to kids, now.
I do get a fear of falling, sometimes. when I look down. That was the trouble, I looked down to see where I should place my feet and then I freaked out. I remember it was really f*ck*ng slow to back track back because I could only move at all without looking down at my feet and I had to try and feel out whether I had my foot well positioned enough (I didn't have a lot of upper body strength to trust I'd be okay if I lost my footing). Anyway... The whole thing seems actually unsafe to me, now. And disrespectful of what I knew about my actual capacity / capability. I simply do have a bit of a 'does not funtion at height' situation going on. I mean, I'm okay in buildings because I forget, but if I look down I fear falling and lose my sense of balance etc...
I suppose it's just about fear of corruption. Of being corrupted. Of perhaps people being corrupted. Of perhaps being placed in a position where people try and make me believe that you need to do x or y or z awful thing... And whether or not that's true... I guess I think there would be something wrong with me if I wasn't worried about such things...
Only it's probably too introspective and self-absorbed... Or something...
I think there is supposed to be a lesson about huddling with the herd because what's the alternative? You just want to get in with a group where the group is going places / mostly going to be okay and then try and huddle into 'normal' in that setting...
Which is a bit odd for me because usually people try and encourage me to huddle into groups where doing so is really not at all in my interests.
Anyway... It's done, now. Onto the next hurdle.
poster:alexandra_k
thread:1099420
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/poli/20140225/msgs/1099901.html