Posted by Dinah on November 17, 2006, at 9:30:38
In reply to Re: What on earth? » Declan, posted by Meri-Tuuli on November 16, 2006, at 10:21:28
Declan was using moral decency and sexual repressions as two ways to fill in the center of the sentence. And I don't think they're interchangeable.
As far as marriage...
I've told my son that he's ready for sex when he's ready to have a baby. That doesn't mean when he's married necessarily. But it does mean when he's financially and emotionally ready for the demands of a baby.
Because honestly, what choice does he has if the girl gets pregnant? She can abort it, it's her body, and he doesn't have a choice about that at all. She can keep it, because it's her body, and he will be expected by us and by the government and likely by her to provide for that child until its eighteenth birthday and beyond, whether or not they stay together. All the freedom that a young man has as to what to do with their lives (school, travelling across Europe, whatever) is effectively limited. The only thing he can do is to block an adoption.
Marriage isn't necessarily the answer to that. Love can blind, situations can change, and the love of your life could divorce you next week.
But waiting to have sex or be married until he's old enough to deal with whatever happens as a consequence of either is not a question of sexual repression.
And it's a question of moral decency only to the point that a child has rights too. And to my mind it's morally decent to take responsibility for a child's needs if you're old enough to have sex.
He had two parents who waited until they were ready to provide for him. I would hope that he'd want the same for his child.
What birth control method is 100%? If your date has had diahrrea since starting her birth control pills that month, she's not likely to tell you. She might not know that certain medications can interfere with the pill's effectiveness. I know people do it every day, but I wouldn't rely on a condom to prevent a life changing occurance of any sort.
I'm not sexually repressed. If my son wants to engage in mutual masturbation or oral sex, I'm not going to have a fit. I hope he still uses protection and is aware of the risks he takes to himself. Ditto if he gets a vasectomy and has frequent checks and hopefully still uses a condom. Or if he's gay. Two consenting adults have the right to take any risk they want with themselves. I'd be less understanding if anyone else was unknowingly involved in any risk. (i.e. someone was married to someone else)
Sex might be fun for some. But it also has serious consequences and is a very serious choice.
You can call it sexually repressed if you like. I call it responsible. I expect my son to be responsible for the choices in his life, and so I hope he makes wise ones.
poster:Dinah
thread:699389
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/poli/20061009/msgs/704511.html