Posted by James K on February 27, 2006, at 4:15:31
In reply to Re: Nicely put. » TofuEmmy, posted by James K on February 27, 2006, at 3:24:29
I can't go to bed without discussing what is really happening here. I don't have a pdoc or a therapist. I went off of my meds about 3 days ago. I intended to stay off of alcohol too, but at the restuarent we went to, decided to drink. I didn't pick a target and go after it, I was just sitting in the passenger seat, and was instantly unbuckled, out the door, and going after someone. I'm not sorry towards him. But I am losing it. That was my point, no matter how macho or superior i expressed it. I went from full of seafood and martinis and happy and relaxed, to murder, in about one minute. And I couldn't let it go, all night. I bought a bottle of whiskey, and a 12 pack of beer and watched taped tv shows and tried to be "normal" and I still was f*cked up in the head about it. I stayed away from the internet for 24 or so hours after I vented, and the fact that someone had the slightest dissaproval tone, set me off again. I'm in trouble right now. I've asked my wife to please help me get through the red tape that's kept me out of the hospital, but everytime I think maybe I don't need hospital, just get my act together, something like a homeless person asking me for money sends me to another level. There was no thought involved, I just did. All my political and personal feelings are valid to me, and are real, but the real story is " I no longer have control over my physical and emotional reactions".
For whatever that is worth. Wherever the political board and the psychology board, and Me intersect, that is the last 2 or 3 days
Love,
James K
poster:James K
thread:612133
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/poli/20060204/msgs/613670.html