Posted by Racer on February 26, 2008, at 2:41:30
In reply to Re: please be sensitive I FEEL OPPRESSED » Dr. Bob, posted by star008 on February 25, 2008, at 21:27:45
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> I do not come to babble to learn. I learn in therapy and other places. I came to babble for support and to support others.I have found a lot of support here at Babble, and I have learned a lot, too, which I consider equally valuable.
Sometimes support may not mean responding directly to something you find offensive, and sometimes support does not mean stepping in to defend a friend yourself. Sometimes support here might mean using the notification system to report a post, and allowing one of the deputies to take administrative action. Or it might mean posting a message of support to the person you'd like to defend, without mentioning the post you found offensive.
I know that it can be hard here, and I know that sometimes the policies feel unfair. I feel bad when I see generous people stepping in to defend friends, only to have administrative action taken against them. That happens because not taking action on those posts would be inconsistent enforcement of the civility guidelines, and that wouldn't be fair to anyone. Believe me, I know it's hard not to take action in those cases. I nearly posted something in defense of a special friend of mine a week or so ago, but realized halfway through a post filled with invective and vituperation that I was doing nothing useful -- the poster in question had been blocked, and what I was writing would only lead to more heightened emotions, more stress, more problems. Instead, I posted a message to my friend, telling her that I cared about her, and wishing her strength and healing. That may not seem like the best way to defend her, but I think it turns the focus away from the negative, and towards the most important aspect of what I hoped to do -- express my affection and support, turn the focus back to my friend and her needs.
I hope you won't leave Babble over this, and I hope you can come to see the value in the civility guidelines and the consistent enforcement of them.
Peace.
poster:Racer
thread:813933
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20080204/msgs/814744.html