Posted by alexandra_k on May 22, 2005, at 2:45:45
In reply to Re: Dr Bob: question about being blocked or PBC'd? » alexandra_k, posted by so on May 22, 2005, at 1:02:09
> > I just try and worry about making sure that I am not hurting / accusing anyone else.
> I wonder if you would apply that standard to everthing in your life, though.I am trying to apply it back to RL, yes.
>What about that hypothetical baby torturer -- In real life, can we accuse him then hurt him till he stops?
Accuse him of what?
Torturing babies?
Thats a legal matter...
Hurt breeds hurt... I don't think hurting him is going to help...
> I can acknowledge some therapeutic value...There might be theraputic value in it. But that isn't the intention. My understanding is that it is about keeping the boards safe. I wouldn't be here if people could go off at me whenever they liked and that behaviour was accepted. I would leave if that happened. I think the civility rules work to my benefit because they keep me safe.
>to an exercise where people are held responsible for their own....
I think it is a handy life skill. If you see that your emotional responses are YOUR emotional responses then that brings them back within your control. The notion is that there is more liklihood that you can alter them if they are due to internal factors than if they are solely at the whim of external factors that you have no control over. The whole notion is actually quite empowering.
>...and for others feelings as well,
To the extent that one refrains from accusing them.
>but I prefer to be informed before I consent to participate in therapeutic proceedures.
I don't think it is intended to be a 'theraputic procedure' more a rule to keep the boards safe. I think that you did consent to follow civility rules in signing up.
>The information I consented to said support and education was provided by other members of the group,
Yeah. Not by Dr Bob.
But that is 'support and education' not discipline...>not by a set of standards designed not only to create a therapeutic milieu but also to effect therapeutic intervention.
????? Lost you there... They are rules so that people are ABLE to offer support and education. I wouldn't be here if people repeatedly attacked me. I think most posters would vanish without the civility rules. Then there wouldn't be very many people here to do the support and education thing...
I think I get the basic civility rules...
I get a bit lost in the special faith board stuff...
That is why I leave it alone.
I don't think the rules are 'arbitrary'.
I don't think the rules are a bad thing at all (not that I don't feel free to offer suggestions for 'improvements').
But... Over time... I have come to respect them.
> People say they don't understand, so others say "see, it's like this, he's trying to x,y and z for our benefit because he knows best" and I would say, "look, this guy is human. just because he graduated med school doesn't mean he has the scoop on human behavior or an absolute handle on what he is trying to do, so it might be as much his problem as it is yours that things don't always work out so well here."Sure. Such an argument is an 'appeal to authority' which is a bad argument, basically. I haven't seen anyone do that - saying people should follow them 'cause Bob knows best. I certainly don't appeal to that in my explanations. I can SEE the sense in them for myself. I try and share that as best I can because I know that some people do struggle to understand some of the determinations.
> Tricky is an apt description. "One person's unique, somewhat isolated way of handling things" might be another reasonable description.Though it is charitable to try and see the sense...
At least to try...Otherwise...
There are boards without civility rules.
There are boards fairly much without rules.
There are boards where anything questionable is deleted...I've had a look around.
And I like it here.But I don't think I have had tooooooooo much trouble getting the hang of them.
So.
It is possible.
I reckon anyways
poster:alexandra_k
thread:500533
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050517/msgs/501071.html