Posted by alexandra_k on May 21, 2005, at 22:26:52
In reply to Re: Dr Bob: question about being blocked or PBC'd? » Gabbi-x-2, posted by Minnie-Haha on May 21, 2005, at 22:00:46
> Then I was blocked a second time for trying to discuss whether or not a certain kind of behavior (that makes me and others feel put-down) is civil,
See... I thought that was the problem. The behaviour in question doesn't *make* anyone feel put down. Feeling put down is not an inevitable result or response to the behaviour. It is about owning your emotional responses as your emotional responses. Taking responsibility for your own responses rather than blaming someone else for *making* you feel that way.
>using completely hypothetical examples
It was very clear what you were getting at and what was really on your mind.
>*and* with good intentions,
Sorry, what was your intention?
I thought it was to get the behaviour stopped so you (and others) wouldn't *have* to feel put down.
In the effort to persuade / convince others that there is something unacceptable in the behaviour you did resort to personal attacks. I thought that that was why you were blocked. It seems that the reason why you find the behaviour upsetting is because you think the poster intends for you to feel upset. You were blaming the poster for your upset.It is hard to learn to take responsibility for ones own emotional responses. And one will get blocked if one blames others for them.
If you can't understand that then my prediction is that you will keep getting blocked... And either leave (as many others have done) or, hopefully come to get this and prevent that from happening.
> Finally, does anyone have any idea how the behavior we were talking about *can* be discussed without the person bringing it up getting PBCd/blocked?
If you can own your own emotions it shouldn't be a problem.
Talk away.
If you don't get this then I would say that you are best to keep away from the topic or it is very likely you will get blocked again....
poster:alexandra_k
thread:500533
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/admin/20050517/msgs/500987.html