Posted by Solstice on March 24, 2012, at 23:54:37
In reply to I'm back but I have limited internet access, posted by rjlockhart04-08 on March 24, 2012, at 23:22:17
Hi Matt
> I am sick of being cheated and lied to all over a bunch of stuff that really I should not even have in my life.
It won't help you.. but you already know that.
> I have realized that most of my problems I am havng is that I feel that I'm 10 years behind socially, intelligently and doing things that require sustained mental effort I lack much in. If you ever have a conversation with me you will eventually realize that I am like talking to a kid because my thoughts are vary disorganized and I spiral off and talk about things that have nothing to relate to the original topic of the conversation. I already have written my doctor a letter about this because seriously I feel I have a deveiopment issue and im behind in many things that other people have already achieved. It takes me longer to process infomation and many time I feel humilated even when there are no people around.
I'm glad you wrote your doctor about it. I think you may be onto something here. You very well may have some delays or other obstacles that interfere with your being able to function exactly like your peers. My suggestion would be that you may need to adjust your expectations of yourself. It must be very hurtful to feel like you *should* be functioning in ways that exceed what you are able to do right now. The shame you feel about that might be fueling your persistent desire to lose the pain in a drug-addled state. Matt.. it is really important that you be kind to yourself. A really good therapeutic relationship could really help you with this. You need to figure out how to set aside the expectations you have of yourself that are unrealistic, so that you can learn to be at peace with and pursue that which is within reach. It makes me sad when you write about hating yourself, and feeling like you are a colossal failure. A good therapeutic relationship could help you work through that.. help you to see your value.. help guide you into more appropriate expectations of yourself and of life.
> I really don't want to waste your time. I have done this before here, and I do not have any intention of stealing your time. I seriously have been doing this process for years now. I have tried so hard to achieve thngs that I wanted and then the results just give a hint that im on the road to doom.You don't *have* to be on the road to doom. I hope your doctor can help get you hooked up with a good therapist. I'd like to see you at peace with yourself.. being kind to yourself.. and seeing that you occupy a very valuable place in life.
Take care, Matt
Solstice
poster:Solstice
thread:1013887
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20120316/msgs/1013895.html