Posted by mtdewcmu on April 30, 2011, at 13:45:36
In reply to Re: May Day, posted by floatingbridge on April 30, 2011, at 12:34:16
> I feel like something isn't right. And I don't know how to get treatment, if I want treatment, what to treat.
>It sounds like you are showing classical signs of major depression. No need to make it more complicated.
> I hate meds. I've tried doxepin (so awful. I was supposed to keep taking it, I know.). For some reason the gp & pdoc nixed amitriptyline ('harsh' sides? ).
>What were you taking doxepin for? Sleep? As an AD, I would think doxepin is much more side effect-prone than amitriptyline. Have you tried nortriptyline or the odder ones like desipramine? If you don't do well on SSRI/SNRIs, that still leaves a lot of options. If an AD makes you go to sleep, take it at bedtime. If it wakes you up, take it in the morning.
> I did call the/my pdoc and ask for a referral. The doc left a long message that we don't know yet what we are treating (after 3 years), that maoi's aren't out of the question but seem premature.
>
> I'm finding myself not caring and staying in bed. I don't think my pdoc gets this. He gets angryish, like that will motivate me. Maybe it's his frustration. He used to think I was more capable than I am, and I can't carry that weight anymore. He dismisses any personality disorderWhat personality disorder are you thinking? Avoidant PD? If you are suffering major depression, personality disorders are further down the list in importance.
> out of hand, and says I could sell anything to get the treatment I think I need. This really hurts because I take that as that I'm manipulating him. I don't want him to be able to be manipulated. I don't want to 'sell' or manipulate. I want to feel reasonably better.
>If there is no longer trust between you and your pdoc, then I would get a different pdoc. It's not worth the effort to try to win him back. Plus, I think suspicious docs can not be changed. It's about him, not you.
> So all the meds piled on me didn't really help. There were too many. But now I face total abstinence, and I'm afraid that I'm overshooting the wash time and now just falling backwards. Then some people who know me here probably know I can handle distress poorly.
>
> I have a kid, and this is the first time I can't whip myself out of bed. This really scares me.
>
> And while I refuse to entertain SI on principal, there is a rock bottom hopeless ness that is becoming clearer. I don't like that. Aren't these warning signals? Or should I wait like I'm being told to by all three doctors, gp, pdoc, osteo?
>Wait for what?
> Ironically, my pdoc says I am too dependent on doctors. But I can't write a scrip? I don't want to be my own diagnostician. I can only present my symptoms to the best of my ability. Big pictures were never my strong point.
I would focus on treating the depression, since that is the gravest threat right now. Correcting depression will probably benefit pain and other subjective symptoms anyway.
poster:mtdewcmu
thread:984074
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20110418/msgs/984160.html