Posted by bleauberry on December 23, 2009, at 18:42:58
In reply to Rejection sensitivity and I want to die again, posted by uncouth on December 22, 2009, at 18:23:11
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> I'm on zyprexa, abilify, tianeptine, high dose wellbutrin, memantine, sam-e, deplin, and tapering off of lithiumI'm very sorry. Very very sorry. For most of it, but not all of it. This brought you to God? That I am grateful for.
I look at the above list of meds and, well, I'm really sorry in advance, but all I can do is shake my head. No wonder you feel so bad.
Wellbutrin, bye bye. Memantine, bye bye. Deplin, bye bye. SAMe, keep 200mg a day or every other day. Tianeptine, bye bye. The toughest call are the antipsychotics. One of them has to go. Both are good ones. Tough call. Neither however has much antidepressant oomph without an SSRI, so without an SSRI or SNRI, you will get no use out of them and they are probably contributing to you feeling worse.
I hate to say it, but that entire cocktail has to go in the trash.
If it were me, I choose an SSRI or SNRI and a TCA. Anyone who knows me knows I'm thinking Effexor/Nortriptyline, Zoloft/Nortripline, any or all of them with Savella. I would probably do it cold turkey except for the antipsychotics, which I would have to juggle for a few months. Those would be the most treacherous and tricky to manage.
I am not at all suggesting you do these. I am only saying what I would do in your shoes. I have made huge dramatic moves like that when I was at a clear deadend. I did not want to put another one of those losers in my mouth one more time. They were not my friends, not helping me, maybe hurting me, and not welcome anymore.
Talk to God everyday. All the time. I have heard of God miraculously healing people. But I have never seen it. I have read about, but never seen it. I know HE can do it, but I've never seen it. It's all about faith. He wants us to have faith in Him. Now, if He shows us proof through a miracle we ask for, well, it isn't faith anymore.
Why does He allow us to stay ill? I'm certainly no Christian expert, but my basic beliefs are that God wants us desperately to choose Him over anything else in life. We are not to worship other idols, other Gods, other hobbies, medications, the ways of Satan, or anything. But it is our free choice. He doesn't force anything. He wants us to voluntarily choose His ways. By being in a bad place, which He didn't do...Satan did that, Satan invented depression...that is where we turn to God. If the only time we are going to turn to God is when we are at the bottom of the barrel, then that is where we will stay. God wants us to seek Him and be close to Him. He loves us and desperately wants us to come to Him. But if the only way that happens is when we are in a real bad place, then it is for our own eternal good that we stay in that bad place. That's why it is so important to talk with God all the time, good times, bad times, all the time.
This life doesn't matter. It is eternity that matters. As long as we are grasping for God during this life, we will see eternity in a place where there is no illness. If we have to leave this world ill, and that illness was the only way to keep us on the right path, then through all that badness there was actually profound goodness. This life is but a miniscule speck in time compared to what came before and what comes after.
Stay close to God, seek God all the time, and don't be surprised when He shows you some answers, some paths, some wisdom, some meds, some herbs, some visions,...that are customized just for you to feel better. If you start leaving Him, you'll probably start feeling worse. I can't explain it. That's just the way it is.
poster:bleauberry
thread:930381
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20091217/msgs/930588.html