Posted by uncouth on November 11, 2009, at 14:57:40
In reply to Re: Peter Breggin » uncouth, posted by 49er on November 11, 2009, at 14:13:23
49er i would love to hear what you have done, what meds you have tapered, how you have felt during the process, and the 'before/after' of you with respect to antipsychotics. which one(s) were you on and for how long? what's your diagnosis?
i'm in the middle of deciding whether to try saphris (asenapine), the newest AP. on the one hand, i underwent a severe, suicidal, ruminative depression for months this summer. refractory to antidepressants, eventually lithium and zyprexa got me out of it. unfortunately i can't tolerate zyprexa.
at my baseline, i am someone with a pretty messed up dopamine system. my normal state is one of anhedonia, amotivation, impulsiveness. i tend to get addicted to the internet, cigarettes, anything that can provide me with a fix.
bupropion has helped bring back some control. i'm on 600mg, a very high dose. and am thinking about going higher, because it's incomplete.
i am hoping an antipsychotic will help normalize my dopamine system. i had high hopes for abilify as it is a 'stabilizer' but it just made things worse. maybe i was on too high of a dose?
my life is a mess because i can't focus on normal, long term rewards (work, career, women, etc.) and instead I revert to impulsive, short term thinking (lets stay on the internet instead of planning something, let's not do my work, etc.). antidepressants by themselves haven't made a dent over the last few years, and probably have made them worse (at least the SSRIs). my diagnosis is bipolar 2, and though i spend most of my time depressed, i am hoping a mood stabilizer / antipsychotic will help normalize my reward system over time and give me some semblance of a life again. right now i'm just irresponsible, feel lazy, like i'm wasting my life, and not able to control myself.
the one drug that helped self-will was emsam. unfortunately it also caused a psychotic depression and made me feel like a genius. definite hypomanic reaction.
zyprexa did work well for me but couldn't handle weight gain.
anyway sorry for sprawling post. i took 30mg of adderall i had laying around this morning + 200mg of modafinil because i have a deadline i need to make for some applications due today. thats probalby why this post is stream of consciousness (see told you my dopamine system is screwy).
but i certainly don't want brain damage from neuroleptics. the problem i have is just continuing down the path of antidepressants + stimulants. it hasn't worked for years so i need to try something new. i know APs are powerfull...it scares me that they will change my thinking dramatically, or slow down my thoughts, or kill creativity, but at the same time, I NEED and WANT something that will shake me to a new equilibrium point in my brain.
thanks for the link.
bye for now,
uncouth (crazy verison)
poster:uncouth
thread:925110
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20091107/msgs/925374.html