Posted by willyee on February 9, 2006, at 20:16:25
Im starting to really hate bed time.Im seeing a pattern here,when i awake 6am or 7am,i wake with energy and my day is ok,but when i start feeling better........ALL it takes is one night,one night where i cant sleep,and this happens because whenever i start feeling better i tend to have stimulative thinking in bed,last night for example im laying thinking about a party im going to friday ngiht,thinking about this,that,and the other,im not depressed,so my mind is almost like a kid on xmas eve,its awake its happy its finaly got free time,but overall this is of course not good cause i dont get to sleep.
Then what happens is one of two things,i either DONT sleep at all,or fall asleep very late.
In a case where i dont sleep,now any medication i take will have a different effect,im not gonnna have the same effect with my doses on no sleep as i do with a fair nights sleep,hence all my progress shot to sh-.I spend that day half maniac and chrash and start all over again.
Then as in last night,i might sleep late,i fell asleep at 4 am,dident wake till late afternoon,and unlike early am mornings i awake in late afternoons,dreary depressed,confused and again my progress is halted.Luckly the gods have had mercy on me as today i was able to pick myself up and even though waking late go out the house ran a million and one chores,and even at the moment feel ok.
But it stinks,a common problem i have again,when im feeling good,my mind is awake at night,its thinking,its like a man freed from jail,thinking what to do first.I dont like taking sleeping aids cause too many times i have taken sleeping aids,they dident put me to sleep,they kick in in the am and i look like a high junkie all day.
Im not posting this for an answer or anything,its something i have to work on,but this just shows at least for me fighting depression takes a overall understanding of the whole process,you have to learn a lot about urself,to fight it,and this is where the people who think we just "pop a pill" are wrong.Anyone i hope i sleep well tonight,cause in order to make this party tommorrow i have to get up and buy a outfit and run a few other errands ,getting up isnt the problem as i can have someone yank me up,its getting sleep,AND GETTING UP.
Well good night folks,i hope everyone had a good day today,and sleep well.
poster:willyee
thread:608110
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20060205/msgs/608110.html