Posted by JohnL on May 29, 2000, at 6:35:11
In reply to SUICIDE, posted by kathy on May 28, 2000, at 23:08:37
> I have just been recently divorced and been thinking about suicide every day it isn't even funny. Ihave no one here to care about me and my husband has gone and I have just given up so that is it. I came on line to see how many lorazepam pills I have to take with ethanol to really knock me out. Now isn't that sick. I absolutely have no more hope. I have tried everything. All I have ever wanted was Love.I accidentely found this babble chat area and now see that so many people are thinking about suicide . Iam just scared that it won't work and I'll wake up after many days and find that Iam still here but then it would be worse. I can't do anything. I wish God would help because Iam a good person inside. I hate feeling so desperate and needing someone. You all out say a small prayer for me tomorrow......
Kathy,
The one and only thing that ever kept me from suicide was a slight glimmer of HOPE. What a magic word that is. Even if there's just a sliver of it, it's enough to get us through the next hour and the next day. When hope dies, we die...either by suicide or a slow deterioration of the soul.But what is hope? Well, to me it came in many forms. My doctor's appointment next week. That is hope. The idea of stopping my current medication and trying a new one. Hope. Forget meds and try St Johnswort. Hope. Forget St Johnswort and try meds. Hope. An appointment with a counselor. Hope. On and on.
What I found NOT helpful were things like exercise, forcing myself into some activity that was supposed to be fun, things like that. Sure, they passed the time and for a moment distracted me, but they provided no HOPE. That's the key word.
Well, guess what, I have great news for you...you have found HOPE! That's what this website is. Here you will read something that will spark an idea. There is something here from someone that is meant just for you, and in it is HOPE. You have come to the right place, and I'm so glad you're here. Now, we just need to figure out how to fix that depression of yours! :-)
I always think it's silly when people so haphazardly say, "Have a nice day". Instead, I will say to you, "I am wishing you a 'smooth' day." Having a nice day is almost definitely out of reach at this point. But having a SMOOTH day is something we can realistically hope for. There it is again, that magic word.
JohnL
poster:JohnL
thread:35034
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20000526/msgs/35069.html