Posted by SLS on May 3, 2004, at 11:12:16
In reply to Re: Fear, anxiety, all the usual suspects... » SLS, posted by Racer on May 2, 2004, at 9:23:23
Hi Racer.
> And what's going on with you? Anything you could use a little support for? It doesn't sound as if you're in a great place right now?
I suffer from depression that is most likely associated with a bipolar spectrum disorder.
I began to respond to the addition of a drug called memantine to the other drugs I am taking. For over a week, the whole world was different, and my mind was awakening from a very long hibernation. So many times in the past, I have shown a positive response early in treatment, only to watch it disappear within a matter of days. It has been 22 years since my illness was first diagnosed and treatment begun. With the exception of a 9 month period in 1987, my only experience with the real world of healthy human experience has been these brief transient responses. Over the last few weeks, I was convinced that the nightmare was over and my life begun. I was able to see and feel life with new perspective, and I started to make plans.
I have tried almost everything. I know that many people say this, but the only standard antidepressants I haven't tried are Serzone, Celexa, Luvox, and a few tricyclics. After adding in mood-stabilizers and investigational drugs, the number exceeds 60. The list represents only the individual drugs, and does not include the many combinations of these drugs that were tried.
I'm pretty upset right now. Depressed. Deflated. Despairing. The meds just stopped working. It has been four days since I last felt anything positive. I know that in the grand scheme of things, four days is not enough time to come to any conclusions, but I feel that to hope for the return of an antidepressant response is just fooling myself, especially in light of my treatment history. I genuinely thought that I was on my way to wellness. I am demoralized and resigned to another failure. I feel like lying on the couch and disappearing. I wish it were that easy.
- Scott
poster:SLS
thread:342191
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20040501/msgs/342803.html