Posted by Racer on April 3, 2004, at 12:27:48
The countryside around here ain't that great, as you can imagine -- that Slough really adds to the humidity...
I guess it's all the troubles lately, but I'm not especially hopeful anymore about finding a decent therapist. Let me rephrase that: I do think that a good therapist would make a hell of a difference for me, and I really really want to find one very much. BUT, after all the [expletive deleted] I've been dealing with at this agency, I have no expectation of competence with any of their personnel. In fact, I've got really bad feelings about anyone involved in any sort of health care that I've got access to right now. Since you are all so patient with my rantings, let me offer up some of what's gone on lately, and you can give me your reality checks, 'K?
1. I just went through some really wretched health related stuff, where the doctor misdiagnosed me, cost me over $300 all told, and made me very, very sick for several days. My eye got swollen and painful, so I went to the emergency room. Vision is an issue for me, so I don't mess around with it. It's one of the few things I will go to the ER for. ER because that was the only way to be seen within a month of my call, by the way. Anyway, the doctor looked briefly at my eye, went away for about three times as long as he'd been in the room with me, and came back saying, "It's an infection, take these pills." Two hours after the first pill, violent diarrhea and vomiting started, which the doctor said was normal and keep taking them. The next day, it was so bad I went back, where the new doctor didn't even examine my eye, just said, "Systemic treatment for a localized infection? Naw, use these drops instead." So, eye drops for two weeks. At the end of that time, my eye was really no better, I had ordered a new contact lens for that eye at a cost of $300, and I went to my private opthalmologist.
She said that there were no signs whatsoever that I had ever had any sort of infection -- but there were clear signs that I had been having an allergic reaction for some time! More eye drops, the contact didn't need to be replaced, although it was already on order and couldn't be cancelled, and she was quite critical of the doctors who had prescribed an antibiotic for an allergic reaction which she said was quite clearly allergies and not infection.
Any wonder I distrust doctors?
2. My stomach hurts. It started back when Dr EyeCandy prescribed Zoloft, in January. Not gas pains, not heartburn, just terrific pain at the base of my ribcage. Dr EyeCandy, in February, said that it couldn't be related to the Zoloft and was probably gallbladder related. Despite being on the left side -- away from the gallbladder. So, called every damn place in the telephone book, and found that Planned Parenthood would see me. Off to PP, where the doctor ordered many blood tests and then referred me off to get an ultrasound. Of course, since it's through the county system, that means six weeks until that test happens. So, this past week it's gotten much worse -- blood in my stool, horrendous pain that actually keeps me from functioning at times, etc. I called PP to see if they would call to get the date of the ultrasound moved up. (That department has urgent spaces available, but a doctor has to request them.) PP said, "Oh, go to the ER." After a 'discussion' about that, I finally said, "I catagorically will NOT go to the ER, so can we work on Plan B now?" FINALLY the clerk who called put me through to the doctor on duty, who said that he didn't think an ultrasound would tell him anything, that he thought it was probably [x] instead of the [y] that the tests were ordered for, and that he wanted to start me on a drug to fix what he thought ailed me. I said, "No. I will not take any drug until we know what's actually happening." He said, "Oh, but it sounds like [x], so this will make you feel better..." I told him I just wanted the tests moved up, so that whatever was actually happening could be diagnosed. He refused, saying that the ultrasound wouldn't diagnose what he'd decided was wrong with me, but he finally ordered some other tests instead which would not diagnose his theory, but might show signs related to it. Great, huh?
Let me say it again, just so that we're all clear: I suffer from Major Depression, not Total Ignorance and Stupidity. You cannot tell me that I should feel confident in that sort of patchwork medical care.
3. The agency swore up and down that once I was on the waiting list for a therapist, nothing would change my priority. I would be given the 24th slot, no matter what else happened. I kept saying I didn't believe them when they said that, that I was convinced that they'd see that I had A therapist, so if someone new came in with a higher priority, they'd say, "oh, well, it's OK to move this one ahead of her, she's already got SOMEONE to see for therapy, she can wait for another therapist..." Sure, right, that never happens. Well, it did happen. Fortunately, it happened in my favor this time -- I got juggled into a top slot, ahead of someone else on the list. I'm certainly not going to complain that I got a new therapist, but I feel lied to about the whole thing, you know? And that's interfering a lot with any sense of openness or willingness to trust with the new therapist.
All of which is leaving me in that old, "Why bother trying...?" state. I just feel as if I'm fighting and fighting and losing even more ground every step of the way.
So, anyone wanna say anything?
poster:Racer
thread:332096
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20040213/msgs/332096.html