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Re: being a victim » judy1

Posted by shar on January 15, 2004, at 10:57:18

In reply to being a victim, posted by judy1 on January 15, 2004, at 9:43:50

Judy,
I always thought being a victim was a learned behavior, learned through authority figures that used/abused/neglected us when we were young and truly powerless. Instead of teaching us how to deal with the outside world that would hurt us, and how to take care of ourselves, we were taught (you know I mean taught not explicitly but through their actions and hard words and behaviors toward us) hypervigilance, defensiveness, self-protection via some form of submitting instead of having enough self-confidence, self-love, self-esteem to stand up to those in later years that would hurt us.

In Jungian theory (according to a tape I have) there is an orphan archetype, the unmothered (unparented), motherless child that doesn't have inner guidance one might learn at a loving hand. And that is the one who experiences terrible loneliness, stays with jobs they hate and are bad for them, can become too tied to people they think can save them (not really a conscious thought process), and find themselves in bad situations.

What does it take, in those situations you described, to make that ok, or help a young person work through things like that? Whatever it takes, I think, is what those children/adults did not get or learn while growing up.

What do you think? You're pretty knowledgeable and smart about these things.

Shar


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