Posted by noa on November 10, 2003, at 18:45:38
The past weekend, I was in total slug/sloth retreat. Started dosing off early Friday evening, went to sleep early, in clothes, slept til 2 pm, didn't change clothes, only went out to pick up prescription on Saturday and to pull in the paper from the stoop on both Sat. and Sunday. Slept in clothes again, didn't talk to anyone, didn't even go on the computer (!).
I needed to sloth it because I was exhausted from being overwhelmed at work. I think I've been holding up pretty well at work--ie even though overwhelmed, I have been keeping up my stamina pretty well, and keep going, rather than throw my hands up in the air (which has occurred to me to do, believe me!). It is very fast paced and pressured lately (remember the reduction in forces?) and I feel like I'm "dancing as fast as I can". My anxiety has been revved up because of this, and I constantly feel like I am drowning in work and can't prioritize and am falling behind, etc. etc. but I keep getting up and going to work (except for one mental health day a few weeks ago), and keep working all day and plodding through the piles and piles. Sometimes I am so overwhelmed that I am surprised that I've been able to keep working through all of it.
Today in therapy, my therapist said just the right thing at the right time. He reminded me that I do have a depressive illness, after all, and that compared to how I was doing at work just a few years ago, how well I'm doing now and even when I feel like throwing my hands up and saying, "I can't do this", I have kept going, kept working through the anxiety and all.
At one point over the weekend, it occurred to me that my total sloth withdrawal weekend was a better substitute for calling in sick and becoming very withdrawn during the work week.
The sleep helped, too. I felt more energy today at work, although I was still very overwhelmed. I'm going to try to get to bed earlier this week. Maybe that will help, at least with energy. And I need to use my light box. I've been derelict in my light box therapy this year.
poster:noa
thread:278340
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20030702/msgs/278340.html