Posted by Shar on April 26, 2002, at 0:23:21
In reply to Do you ever have suicidal DAYS??, posted by tina on April 25, 2002, at 14:24:21
Boy, T, this is not a simple question! I've asked similar questions many times about the twists and turns my mental health takes. It's easier to answer (for me) what is NOT the answer. My mind processes it something like this:
OK, I feel xxx today. Why???? I've been in therapy for decades, so if therapy was the answer, surely I'd be better by now! And, I've been on meds for years...surely if meds was the answer, I wouldn't be feeling xxx! And, ... etc.
I think a lot of what goes on is either the general randomness of life, or spurts of brain chemicals not doing what the usually do (like a psychopharmacological hiccup). The general randomness of life, the way I use it, is sort of like chaos theory...a butterfly flaps its wings in Ecuador and there's an earthquake in Antartica. While there may be a pattern in what happens in the world, I don't have the proper location for viewing it.
For me, asking "why" never yields very satisfying answers. And, in mental health and brain stuff so little is understood about how stuff works...
Not a very satisfying response from me! Maybe others will be more knowledgeable.
Shar
> Now and then, I have days where I feel suicidal. It doesn't last longer than a day or two here and there so I'm not in any danger of actually doing it. The thing is, why does it happen then? If I know I'll never take my own life, why would I feel like doing it for a twenty four hour period now and then?? I do, however, stay depressed for long periods of time, just not suicidal. It's strange. I'm not even sure if I'm explaining it properly.
> any input is appreciated
> tina
poster:Shar
thread:144
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/2000/20020416/msgs/155.html