![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 13 of 13. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on April 10, 2009, at 3:15:55
I am very sad and tearful. I hate this. I want to be happy again.
Little things set me off. Seeing someone get support in chat sent the tears rolling. I feel envy. I want others to care about me too.
I know people care about me here. So why am I still crying and sad?
:-(
Posted by Bobby on April 10, 2009, at 10:59:11
In reply to I am sad, posted by Deneb on April 10, 2009, at 3:15:55
I hope that last night--it wasn't the Alex thingy. Many times--I've tried to support you just by showing up and making small talk to distract you from issues which I haven't a clue how to solve. Sorry you feel this way Deneb. I think lots of people here support you. What can I do----and what is the main problem that needs addressing?
Posted by Deneb on April 10, 2009, at 15:39:25
In reply to Re: I am sad » Deneb, posted by Bobby on April 10, 2009, at 10:59:11
(((((Bobby)))))) No, it wasn't babblechat. It was another chat somewhere else.
I know you care. :-)
Posted by Kath on April 10, 2009, at 16:05:54
In reply to Re: I am sad » Bobby, posted by Deneb on April 10, 2009, at 15:39:25
Deneb - sorry - this is a very stressful time for you regarding your job & all.
I'm sorry you're sad & feeling fragile.
I send my love.
Kath
Posted by 10derHeart on April 10, 2009, at 16:40:09
In reply to I am sad, posted by Deneb on April 10, 2009, at 3:15:55
I usually figure out - sometimes much later - these kind of tears and deep pain have nothing to do with the present situation at all. Hard as it is (for me)to believe or understand, "old stuff" lingers and new things remind our unconscious of things that wounded us a long time ago. Are there maybe family things that happened, that to a part of you, are very much like watching someone else get support in a chat? The first thing that popped into my head was that maybe you felt scared and sad, as if, "oh, no, if someone else gets support (love? attention?) there will be none for me. When is *my* turn?"
Don't mean to play amateur T., but it's just that these feelings aren't uncommon - I have been there. I am always startled at how STRONG and SUDDEN they are, worse than if someone say, offended, insulted, snubbed me in the here and now....really....
I could be way off, but it's something to consider. I know you have a really good pdoc/T, Deneb. Hope you tell her this just like you did here. She can help you explore. Bearing it....it usually it a matter of time, repetition...old grief loves to hang around and pop up its head to be felt over and over. Guess we have to really feel stuff we didn't or couldn't the first time.
It sucks and it hurts. But I KNOW you can walk through it to the other side. Silly probably, but sometimes I try to think of it (living through the sad feelings) as a medical treatment that is vital to heal me, like something a medical doctor HAS to do, but HAS to hurt during the "procedure" in order to work...helps me with perspective and tolerating pain somewhat....
Remember, emotions are guaranteed to do one thing - change....
Distraction is all I can suggest. Maybe post something on the Psych board, too? ((Deneb))
Posted by TexasChic on April 10, 2009, at 21:45:49
In reply to Re: I am sad » Deneb, posted by 10derHeart on April 10, 2009, at 16:40:09
I care about you too Deneb! I'm sorry you're feeling so down. I have been away for a little while, but it seems like you have been feeling down here lately. Is it something specific? Is it the SF trip? Is it a meds thing maybe? I've been feeling somewhat down too, but I'm pretty sure my problem is being off my meds. I'll hang in there if you will!!! I have that deal with Kath too!!
-T
Posted by SLS on April 11, 2009, at 7:43:04
In reply to I am sad, posted by Deneb on April 10, 2009, at 3:15:55
> I am very sad and tearful. I hate this. I want to be happy again.
>
> Little things set me off. Seeing someone get support in chat sent the tears rolling. I feel envy. I want others to care about me too.
>
> I know people care about me here. So why am I still crying and sad?
>
> :-(
Very often, biological depressive conditions such as dysthymia or Major Depressive Disorder can leave one feeling tearful about almost anything. There doesn't have to be a reason to be in a tearful or sad mood. The brain produces this emotional state all by itself without your cognitive input. When one is in such a neurological altered state, it is natural to want to ascribe specific reasons for why the mood exists, even though there are none. If you have one of these conditions, it is sometimes helpful to recognize your sad thoughts for what they are - the involuntary activity of the brain that are the results of a mood illness. I know it doesn't FEEL that way. However, no amount of psychotherapeutic work will make you feel much better.Then again, you might not have any biological brain illness at all. If this is true, then you have the potential to feel better as you work through each of your issues.
Do your thoughts follow your mood or does your mood follow your thoughts?
Good question. It might help you identify cause and effect. However, the reality is that to varying degrees, both dynamics exist simultaneously. That's depression. It can be self-reinforcing and self-perpetuaating. However, when a biological intervention is effectively treating a biological depression, this cycle is broken, and one can feel much better about everything and work more effectively to attend to psychological and emotional issues.
If you haven't investigated these things with your health care providers, I suggest that it might help you to sort things out. Perhaps you are placing yourself in a no-win situation by ignoring the presence of an affective disorder (mood illness).
Good luck.
By the way, I think that you are one of the most emotionally pure people here. I always enjoy reading your posts and the warm fuzzies I get from them, even though they are not purposely conceived to be directed at anyone in particular. I just don't think you realize that your goodness attracts a whole lot of people, and that you are a person that is hard not to like.
- Scott
Posted by Deneb on April 11, 2009, at 15:38:37
In reply to Re: I am sad, posted by Kath on April 10, 2009, at 16:05:54
Thanks Kath. I know you care too. ((((((Kath)))))
Posted by Deneb on April 11, 2009, at 15:47:48
In reply to Re: I am sad » Deneb, posted by 10derHeart on April 10, 2009, at 16:40:09
Thanks 10der, I think you are right about it triggering old stuff and about maybe I am afraid there is not enough love to go around.
I think this may be coming from when my sister was born. I remember feeling very jealous and envious of the attention my sister got.
My Mom told me that I told her we should put my sister in the oven when my sister first came home, like in Hansel and Gretal.
I think my sister has gotten the best from my parents. She always seemed to get the better room, more food, etc. Now she is successful and here I am still a loser.
Posted by Deneb on April 11, 2009, at 15:51:33
In reply to Re: I am sad, posted by TexasChic on April 10, 2009, at 21:45:49
Thanks for your support TexasChic, I know you care too. :-)
I am not sure what is causing this low mood of mine, probably a combination of the SF disappointment, the news of the lay off and just being triggered by stuff.
I haven't changed my meds, so I doubt that is it.
I wonder if i may be because I am on Weight Watchers and am restricting my food intake and losing weight.
I am OK most of the time though. I'll be OK.
Posted by Deneb on April 11, 2009, at 15:59:38
In reply to Re: I am sad » Deneb, posted by SLS on April 11, 2009, at 7:43:04
Aw, thanks Scott! :-)
I haven't changed my meds at all so unless something is pooping out on me, my low mood shouldn't be from meds.
I think my pdoc thinks it may be most psychological. It is just intense at times. It is just weird because I've been happy for so long now most of my previous episodes of low mood/crisis etc, have been because of attempts to taper off meds. My pdoc said she made a mistake in tapering me during an unstable time in my life.
I really wonder if it might be the losing weight thing, but that doesn't seem to make sense. My lowered mood did coincide with me going to Weight Watchers though.
I am at the lowest points possible because I don't weigh a lot. I wonder if there is a supplement I should be taking.
Posted by SLS on April 11, 2009, at 16:46:57
In reply to Re: I am sad » SLS, posted by Deneb on April 11, 2009, at 15:59:38
Hmm.
It sounds like you have good doctors. I am glad.
Perhaps you have reached some critical emotional turning point in your growth and healing process. When I feel something like what you are experiencing, I usually interpret it as a signal that some important psychological issue has emerged. I then work to identify it by first just letting the feelings just happen without guilt. I am often successful at identifying the source of the feelings or the part of my core belief system that has produced the emotions. Of course, I am not always successful. However, having at least recognized the emotional signal, I can work with a counselor to help me work with it.
Most simply, a rush of sad or otherwise negative feelings is usually an indicator that there is work to do. It should not be a source of feelings of weakness or guilt. It should probably best be seen as being something very human and shared with a great many other individuals.
That was probably more stuff than you needed to hear, but I sometimes write to help reinforce the lessons I have learned for my own benefit.
- Scott
Posted by Kath on April 11, 2009, at 19:40:47
In reply to Re: I am sad » Deneb, posted by SLS on April 11, 2009, at 16:46:57
Scott - you are so wise.
Deneb, I think Scott has some good ideas.
I copied this from his post:
"By the way, I think that you are one of the most emotionally pure people here. I always enjoy reading your posts and the warm fuzzies I get from them, even though they are not purposely conceived to be directed at anyone in particular. I just don't think you realize that your goodness attracts a whole lot of people, and that you are a person that is hard not to like."and I'd like you to know that I agree. You're pretty special, in my opinion.
I'm sorry it's like that in your family. It's hard for me to be objective, because I like & respect you so much, but from what you've shared, I'd say that you stand out like a shining star in the things that REALLY matter - for example being kind, caring, open to seeing yourself for who you are & wanting to be your best as a human being, etc. Those sort of things are things that ya don't go to school for!!! Some people value different things from other people. I'm sorry if, in our family, you don't get the acknowledgemet that I think you deserve!
I think you might be onto something with regard to your food intake. I wonder if your blood sugar is off. We all have different metabolisms. I don't know if Weight Watchers has people who know about things like that. Certainly blood sugar levels can affect our moods!
Keep us updated, okay?
I'm impressed that your doctor was willing to accept responsibility for an error in judgement regarding your meds!!!
luv, Kath
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.