![[dr. bob]](/dr-bob-sm.gif)
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 17 of 17. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Deneb on February 27, 2008, at 17:55:33
I believe the online sex talk was just a way for me to explore my sexuality, more experimentation than anything. In reality I would not like doing those things.
And that is what matters most, reality. In reality I do not like sex. I'm not sexually attracted to either men or women.
I'm pretty old. I'm 26. I've always been this way. I've never gone through the "raging hormones" stage of life.
I think I should accept my sexual orientation and be proud of it. :-) There should be an asexual pride parade. LOL
We are only 1% of the population.
I have a lot of reasons to believe I'm asexual. First I don't enjoy kissing that is more than an innocent kiss. I never think of people when I masturbate ( which is already a rare event). I never want sex. I think I want cuddling sometimes, but not sex. My ideal life partner would provide me the feeling I get when I think of Dr. Bob. It should be nonsexual, and completely innocent.
Right now I'm crossing my fingers. I've been chatting with this asexual man I found at the asexual dating site. Things are going well right now. We have some things in common. We are both very child-like in our views of the world. We're both very open people.
Right now I'm growing increasingly uncomfortable with the other guy I chat with online. He is too focused on sex. I chat with him on the phone a bit and I don't think it's going to work out.
I want to feel Bob love for my life partner. It makes me feel safe and protected. I feel a bit of this for the asexual man. I don't feel it at all with the other guy.
The attraction I feel for guys is not sexual. It's more of a "want to hug them" feeling. It's definitely not a "want to have sex with them" feeling.
((((((((Dr. Bob))))))))))
(((((((asexual guy))))))))))
Posted by Sigismund on February 27, 2008, at 18:27:05
In reply to I'm most likely asexual, posted by Deneb on February 27, 2008, at 17:55:33
>I'm pretty old. I'm 26.
Wait till you're 62.
>I think I should accept my sexual orientation and be proud of it. :-) There should be an asexual pride parade. LOL
Absolutely. You're fine as you are. You can change if you want. It's your life.
Posted by R. -T. V. 52y on February 27, 2008, at 19:06:48
In reply to I'm most likely asexual, posted by Deneb on February 27, 2008, at 17:55:33
Dear Deneb,
You say you're old at 26. My age is 2x that of yours. I don't say I'm old.
I'm not sure that you have really found yourself yet. I hadn't when I was 26. So don't panic, let the times pass and enjoy all new experiences.
Many people believe in "The right one". One day, if it's God's will, he/she'll be at your door. For me, it perhaps happened 1 month ago, though I've been married in 20+ years....
Life is life, and tomorrow never knows...
Hope you like the music,
yours Chris
Posted by TexasChic on February 27, 2008, at 20:53:09
In reply to I'm most likely asexual, posted by Deneb on February 27, 2008, at 17:55:33
I can't help but think of one of my favorite Larry Hoover mantras:
"My feelings are not subject to questioning by anyone. Even me."
You are who you are, you feel what you feel. That's it. No other explanation is necessary. You don't have to label yourself, although I do understand the comfort in finding a category to fit into.
Although I'm not asexual, my sexual experience is VERY limited (and I'm 38!). It makes me feel like some sort of freak sometimes, but just sometimes. I know its just what is and nothing to be ashamed of. Nobody knows what its like to be me, and there are reasons for why I live my life as I do. When and IF the time is right, that will change.
Try to celebrate who you are, and whatever happens in the future, happens.
I've told you before what a cool person I think you are. I don't know how much that means to you, but I COMPLETELY and TOTALLY mean it. You are unique, strong (yes, you are way stronger than you will ever know!) and beautiful - inside and out! There will always be people who try to put you down, but they are only doing that in a pathetic attempt to try to make themselves feel better. They wouldn't pick on you unless you were extraordinary, which you are. (I'm addressing a couple of different posts of yours here).
Stay strong girlfriend, you have NOTHING to be ashamed of. Period.
-T
Posted by obsidian on February 27, 2008, at 20:56:18
In reply to I'm most likely asexual, posted by Deneb on February 27, 2008, at 17:55:33
asexual pride!!
woo hoo!
Posted by llurpsienoodle on February 28, 2008, at 13:28:41
In reply to alright...I'll start making a float for the parade » Deneb, posted by obsidian on February 27, 2008, at 20:56:18
nothing to be embarrassed of, ashamed of, etc.
You're awesome just the way you are. I hope you meet a special someone, but there's no need to go rushing into something you're not ready for. Friends are one of the best things in life. Lovers bring trouble!
What color/s would you like your float to be?
Is your mascot a hamster*?-Ll
*grin
Posted by Kath on February 28, 2008, at 18:46:24
In reply to I'm most likely asexual, posted by Deneb on February 27, 2008, at 17:55:33
> I'm pretty old. I'm 26.Crumbs Deneb.
That makes me Ancient History: I'm 61 !!!!
Yup, I agree with what Sigi said.
Kath
Posted by Kath on February 28, 2008, at 18:50:02
In reply to Re: I'm most likely asexual, posted by TexasChic on February 27, 2008, at 20:53:09
What a wonderful post for Deneb.
Thanks so much for writing that. Such graceful, powerful, empowering, true words, TC!!!!
And I love Larry's quote. Any more good ones?
luv, Kath
Posted by Phillipa on February 28, 2008, at 18:50:59
In reply to Re: I'm most likely asexual » Deneb, posted by Kath on February 28, 2008, at 18:46:24
Kath, you , me and Sigi need to find a deserted Island and get to know each other. Kind of serious and kind of playful. Chris can join us if he'd like to if it's alright with you guys . The babble bunch of over the hill posters. Love Phillipa Chris don't take offense as you are much younger.
Posted by rskontos on February 28, 2008, at 19:00:57
In reply to Re: I'm most likely asexual » Kath, posted by Phillipa on February 28, 2008, at 18:50:59
Deneb, you probably feel old at 26 I think you were saying. That is ok you are allowed to feel like you feel. I am 49 and just now awakening to new feelings as my feelings have been compartmentalized due to trauma as I was younger. So you might change as you grow in your experiences in life, emotions tend to do that too, grow and change. For now, I would say from where I am looking you look and sound alright to me girl. You are easy to talk and listen to, I bet anyone would jump at the chance to spend time with you so take your time with these guys you are getting to know. You got time to take your time. You are worth getting to know by you too :)
rsk
Posted by Kath on February 29, 2008, at 17:38:43
In reply to Re: I'm most likely asexual » Kath, posted by Phillipa on February 28, 2008, at 18:50:59
Phillipa - do we know how old Sigi is?
I thought his "wait 'til you're 62" was just him turning the numbers of HER age around! Maybe he's older than me? I dunno.
When I turned 61 very recently I was getting into having a hard time about it & then remembered my friend with cancer who is dying, saying that each birthday he's had he is pleased & privileged. I don't think I'll ever view aging QUITE the same.
I still find it a bit hard to be in those 'high' numbers, but I do NOT feel any older than about mid-30's!!!
An island sounds wonderful to me as long as it is WARMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Kath
Posted by Phillipa on February 29, 2008, at 19:10:00
In reply to Re: I'm most likely asexual » Phillipa, posted by Kath on February 29, 2008, at 17:38:43
Kath I think he needs to answer for us. Love Phillipa
Posted by 10derHeart on February 29, 2008, at 19:17:08
In reply to Re: I'm most likely asexual » Kath, posted by Phillipa on February 29, 2008, at 19:10:00
Posted by Phillipa on February 29, 2008, at 19:21:16
In reply to thx for thinking of poster privacy :-) (nm) » Phillipa, posted by 10derHeart on February 29, 2008, at 19:17:08
10der your welcome. Phillipa
Posted by Kath on February 29, 2008, at 19:54:02
In reply to Re: I'm most likely asexual » Kath, posted by Phillipa on February 29, 2008, at 19:10:00
Posted by Sigismund on February 29, 2008, at 20:57:37
In reply to Re: I'm most likely asexual » Phillipa, posted by Kath on February 29, 2008, at 17:38:43
Hey, I missed this....
I'm 54.
It would be in the archives somewhere, along with all my fabulously indiscreet posts.
Posted by Kath on February 29, 2008, at 22:18:40
In reply to Re: I'm most likely asexual » Kath, posted by Sigismund on February 29, 2008, at 20:57:37
Why yer just a mere baby!
Fabulously indiscreet? Hey - how long have you been at PB?
I was first here around 2000. Can't remember for how many years. Then wasn't here for years.
:-) Kath
This is the end of the thread.
Psycho-Babble Social | Extras | FAQ
Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.org
Script revised: February 4, 2008
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/cgi-bin/pb/mget.pl
Copyright 2006-17 Robert Hsiung.
Owned and operated by Dr. Bob LLC and not the University of Chicago.