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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 11 of 11. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Faedra on November 17, 2007, at 12:51:56
This is something that has been on my mind for a while. About a year ago I went to a bar with a male friend of mine. I had several drinks but was was doing fine until I briefly became separated from my friend. He told me later that although we had only been separated for 10 minutes he found me with another guy who had bought me a drink that put me "over the edge."
I got very sick that night and was hung over for the entire next day. I have almost no recollection of leaving the bar. The next day I had TERRIBLE huge bruises on both of my knees. I *think* I vaguely recall being on my knees, vomiting on the sidewalk so this is a possible explanation for the bruises (although my friend didn't remember this happening). This explanation is supported by some scuff marks on the knees of my pants. It's also possible that I fell (although I don't remember falling).
I feel that I should get an HIV test but I'm scared because I don't know for sure if anything might have happened to me that night (rape by my friend or a stranger). However, besides for the bruises on my knees and memory loss, I didn't have any vaginal soreness or discharge or bruises elsewhere on my body, so I'm wondering if I should still be concerned.
I realize that I should not have drunk so much!! However, it seems possible that someone might have put something in my drink. I am a little scared and just wonder if you think, based on the bruises alone without other signs of rape, do you think it's unlikely that I actually was raped? I felt pretty ashamed about the whole incident.
Posted by caraher on November 17, 2007, at 14:56:59
In reply to Worried about rape??, posted by Faedra on November 17, 2007, at 12:51:56
(((Faedra)))
It sounds like you probably were not raped, though if someone gave you a drugged drink you were certainly assaulted! You might as well get an AIDS test if a negative result would set your mind at ease; it can't hurt!
And please don't feel ashamed! It isn't wrong to go to a bar, and it doesn't sound as if you were intending to drink to excess. You had a really bad experience you probably wish you never had, but it's over. Don't beat yourself up about it! That was a year ago; if this experience repeated itself several times since then maybe you should re-evaluate your decisions, but it sounds like this was just a one-time incident over which there's no need to bludgeon yourself emotionally.
Posted by Phillipa on November 17, 2007, at 19:41:26
In reply to Re: Worried about rape??, posted by caraher on November 17, 2007, at 14:56:59
Same thing happened to my 33 year old daughter last night someone put something in her drink, vomitted all night but no rape. Phillipa
Posted by rskontos on November 18, 2007, at 15:31:26
In reply to Worried about rape??, posted by Faedra on November 17, 2007, at 12:51:56
Faedra, My 19 year old had a several incidence and I went online to the National Rape Hotline and found out that one of the date rape drugs you can actually make with common household ingredients. The stuff will only show up in your system for 48 to 72 hours and must be tested for specifically. My daughter said and she doesn't drink it was suppose to be "virgin" (it mixed with anything as it is odorless and tasteless) that she felt the effects almost immediately and while she vaguely knew what was happening she couldn't do anything about it. This is way the doctor thinks it was the homemade one versus the others they usually cause totally nonrecall. So all must be careful. The new thing at college campus' is perps are using needles and inserting them into say a 2 liter of coke or other mix and the bottle will reseal and then you can pour your own versus of the date rape drug unknown to you. This was told to me by campus police. So becareful. My daughter did the hiv, hpv and any test the doctor said even though she didn't think anything happen to be sure. She was ok. rk
Posted by Muffled on November 18, 2007, at 18:01:52
In reply to Re: Worried about rape??, posted by rskontos on November 18, 2007, at 15:31:26
People who pull sh*t like that should have their balls cut off.
I done pigs. A calf. Easy done.
Bastards.
M
Posted by Muffled on November 19, 2007, at 10:49:33
In reply to Re: Worried about rape??, posted by Muffled on November 18, 2007, at 18:01:52
I feel extreemly strongly bout this topic.
For no reason other than I feel its just so wrong.
To do such a thing to others.
Makes me wonder bout this world.
Makes me sad.
Sorry if I have offended anyone.
My posts been bad lately.
Mebbe best to ignore me is good idea.
M
Posted by happyflower on November 19, 2007, at 12:57:48
In reply to Sorry, above post *potential trigger* violence, posted by Muffled on November 19, 2007, at 10:49:33
Muffy I don't think you were thinking anything wrong, in fact I was thinking the same thing. But I am a very angryflower right now, and would want to deep fry them in oil. If they had their balls cut off, they would just use another way to abuse I think. Evil people make me sick.
Posted by caraher on November 19, 2007, at 18:36:42
In reply to Re: Sorry, above post *potential trigger* violence » Muffled, posted by happyflower on November 19, 2007, at 12:57:48
happyflower said,
"...they would just use another way to abuse I think"
I think about 25 years ago there was a judge (in the US) who tried to order "chemical castration" as a sentence for some kind of sexual abuser. There was a lot of controversy about that idea; does chemically suppressing the abuser's sex drive "work," whether as a punishment or as a means of preventing future assaults? I think in the end his sentence didn't stand...
In general, revenge fantasies make for bad law. And they never "undo" the original harm done.
Posted by happyflower on November 19, 2007, at 22:35:56
In reply to Re: Sorry, above post *potential trigger* violence, posted by caraher on November 19, 2007, at 18:36:42
They might not undo the harm they did, but if my mom was taken care of , it would save people from her in the future. Plus I could sleep better at night. I wouldn't call it revenge, I would call it justice.
Posted by pianissimo on November 20, 2007, at 9:46:32
In reply to Worried about rape??, posted by Faedra on November 17, 2007, at 12:51:56
Hi Faedra. It's so hard to be worrying about something that you can't remember. Knowing, not knowing....it can become so all-consuming. I'm sorry you've had this on your mind. I think that you should get tested for it (and for the other STD and STI's while you're at it too). And I hope that doing that won't scare you even more, but will give you a little peace of mind. So you can stop worrying a bit.
Most clinics will even let you talk to a counsellor a few times, and they can answer more questions, ease your fears, and you can talk about how you've felt emotionally since. You don't need to have definite memories to talk about it.Strength for you, P-mo
Posted by Bodhisattva on December 10, 2007, at 16:18:50
In reply to Worried about rape??, posted by Faedra on November 17, 2007, at 12:51:56
Bring a real friend next time. The fact that you said the "friend" was on the suspect list doesn't exactly endear the fellow to my heart.
Bring someone you can trust to take care of you. I've played the role of body guard many times, I'm sure you can find someone in your life willing to do that for you too. That way, if you need to have some fun and drink till you vomit ( needed, sometimes I know ). Then you know that your good friend will watch over you and hold your hair. That way, you won't have suspicious bruises cause they will have kept you from falling. It's also good to have someone you know drive you home.
Keep safe :)
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