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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 2 to 26 of 26. Go back in thread:
Posted by Deneb on April 15, 2007, at 0:49:51
In reply to I feel like a loser *trigger*, posted by Deneb on April 15, 2007, at 0:40:11
I'm such a loser.
I don't have real friends.
Making Dr. Bob's hat is the highlight of my day. How sad is that?
I'm happy when I earn a reward dollar at work (to collect for free stuff), how pathetic is that?
I sleep in until 1 PM, surf the web and work on Bob's hat, go to work, come home to surf the web and work on Bob's hat and I feel content. That's not a life. I should want more than this.
How can I be happy living my life in loserdom?
Yet I'm strangely happy. I shouldn't be.
I'm confused. I don't want to die. I like my life, even though I'm unsuccessful.
Deneb*
Posted by Deneb on April 15, 2007, at 1:54:15
In reply to Re: I feel like a loser *trigger*, posted by Deneb on April 15, 2007, at 0:49:51
I'm sorry for writing my first post. I don't want to die anymore. I think I was being a bit dramatic in my thoughts.
I'm thinking this through. I shouldn't compare myself to other people. I should be happy that I feel content.
Maybe if I were a doctor or scientist I wouldn't be happy because it's too stressful.
I seem to like the routine I'm living right now. My sister just described the crazy amounts of work that she has to do everyday and that would be too much for me.
I like how things are right now. I like how I'm good at my job. I like how I make a little money and don't have to pay rent or cook.
I like how I have free time to work on Bob's hat, and do astronomy now. I'm pretty content. I like my life. I'm not successful, but maybe being successful isn't all that important. Maybe being happy is the most important thing. I'm pretty happy now that I think about it.
Maybe I'm lucky I can be happy?
This reminds me of the book "Brave New World". There were different classes of people in that book, alphas, betas, epsilons etc. The epsilons and other lower classes are altered while developing to have low intelligence so that they would be happy doing easy mindless jobs. People also took drugs to create an artificial happiness. Maybe I'm an epsilon. I seem pretty happy in my non-successful life. Maybe it's not so bad as long as I'm content?
Deneb*
Posted by Declan on April 15, 2007, at 3:06:50
In reply to Re: I feel like a loser, posted by Deneb on April 15, 2007, at 1:54:15
You've covered a lot of ground there.
From the 'I'm really unsuccessful in life. I suck'
to
'I seem pretty happy in my non-successful life. Maybe it's not so bad as long as I'm content?'
All very bright and perky.
Try not to worry too much.
Enjoy the view.Declan
Posted by Phillipa on April 15, 2007, at 10:16:56
In reply to Re: I feel like a loser » Deneb, posted by Declan on April 15, 2007, at 3:06:50
Deneb try not to compare yourself to your sister is she happy? Love Phillipa
Posted by Angela2 on April 15, 2007, at 14:01:28
In reply to I feel like a loser *trigger*, posted by Deneb on April 15, 2007, at 0:40:11
Deneb,
I know what you mean. I compare myself to my brother sometimes. He is an amateur film maker, and he is in one of the best film school in the country writing screen plays n stuff. I don't have a job right now, so my life sometimes feels really boring compared to his.
I dunno, I don't feel that way now though. I have people supporting me, and I've been getting out more, so those things help.
I think you are really sweet. I hope you feel better soon. Don't compare yourself to others. You are who you are, and that is just great.
Angela2
Posted by Deneb on April 15, 2007, at 14:56:28
In reply to Re: I feel like a loser » Deneb, posted by Declan on April 15, 2007, at 3:06:50
Thanks Declan, Phillipa and Angela
I think I shouldn't compare myself to other people. I have my own personal accomplishments that I should be proud of. They're not much compared to other people, but they are big for me. For example, going out with friends and not resorting to self destructive behaviour when things aren't going well.
Phillipa, my sister is pretty happy. She has good friends and a boyfriend
Angela, it's hard not to compare one's self to one's siblings.
Ugh. I sort of feel like a loser again. I wish someone could make me feel better.
Deneb*
Posted by Deneb on April 15, 2007, at 16:36:32
In reply to Re: I feel like a loser, posted by Deneb on April 15, 2007, at 14:56:28
Now I'm crying.
My life is a failure. Why should I continue to live? I hate this.
I seriously need to be reincarnated or something. I need to start over again. I've ruined my life.
I'm a loser. I hate myself.
Deneb*
Posted by Angela2 on April 15, 2007, at 17:13:08
In reply to Re: I feel like a loser *trigger*, posted by Deneb on April 15, 2007, at 0:49:51
Sometimes I find that when I use the phrase "I should..." "I shouldn't..." I feel worse, because I put that expectation on myself and then feel like I have to live up to it. So I say, if you feel happy because of PB or getting extra dollars at work, that's great :-)
Posted by Phillipa on April 15, 2007, at 19:17:36
In reply to Re: I feel like a loser *trigger*, posted by Angela2 on April 15, 2007, at 17:13:08
Deneb and your knowledge of chemistry and science amazed me. Love Phillipa a very very intelligent person.
Posted by Michael83 on April 15, 2007, at 19:47:11
In reply to Re: I feel like a loser *trigger*, posted by Deneb on April 15, 2007, at 16:36:32
Deneb you cannot ruin your life at age 24 (unless you're in jail or something).
You're way too hard on yourself, it's so unfair.
Many people are out hanging out with street people, doing drugs, with jobs a lot worse than yours. Those people are losers. You're nowhere near that. You're smart, you stay out of trouble, you have a lot going for you.
Please don't be so hard on yourself. You said you only have internet friends, but internet friends are real friends too. I'm in the same boat as you. I don't have any friends outside of the internet anymore, but it's nothing to be ashamed. They're still real people who care about me, just as we care about you.
I don't know you that well, certainly a lot less than others on here, I just read your posts. But I think you're truly wonderful (I wouldn't waste my time posting this for just any one). I'm not just saying this to make you feel better, I'm saying it because it's true and I know others feel similar. If you knew how much people here care about you, and to be honest, how scared I get when you post stuff like this, I think you'd feel better about yourself and realize how many people care about you.
Please just take a deep breath and relax.
Posted by Deneb on April 15, 2007, at 21:41:00
In reply to Re: I feel like a loser *trigger* » Deneb, posted by Michael83 on April 15, 2007, at 19:47:11
((((((((((Michael))))))))))))
Thanks for your reply. It means a lot to me that you wrote what you did. I really believe you. I'm sorry for scaring you.
I kind of broke down at the dinner table tonight and my Mom and aunt talked to me about feeling like a loser.
You're right in that lots of people have things much worse than I do. You're right that I haven't ruined my life. My life has just started.
Thanks for telling me these things.
I think you know me. If you read my posts you know me. :-)
I feel better now to know you care.
Deneb*
Posted by karen_kay on April 15, 2007, at 22:25:23
In reply to Re: I feel like a loser *trigger* » Deneb, posted by Michael83 on April 15, 2007, at 19:47:11
i understand you're trying to help deneb feel better, but maybe some of us reading are starting to look down at our feet a bit....
(hoping i'm not the only one looking down at my feet with a few past, what i prefer to call 'adventures' or i suppose 'misadventures' as others call them.)
Posted by Declan on April 16, 2007, at 3:09:04
In reply to Re: I feel like a loser, posted by Deneb on April 15, 2007, at 14:56:28
What happens if you accept that no one can make you feel any better?
Posted by Declan on April 16, 2007, at 3:16:16
In reply to Question, posted by Declan on April 16, 2007, at 3:09:04
Winners and losers.
It's quite a step (down) from a hundred years ago.
Posted by Michael83 on April 16, 2007, at 6:25:25
In reply to hey!!!! » Michael83, posted by karen_kay on April 15, 2007, at 22:25:23
I'm not sure what you meant by "look down at our feet" and how it related to my post. Sorry.
It just scared me to see Deneb write that and I had to post something or I would feel guilty. I didn't want anything to happen to her. I just wrote what I felt at the moment.
Posted by karen_kay on April 16, 2007, at 9:10:47
In reply to Re: hey!!!! » karen_kay, posted by Michael83 on April 16, 2007, at 6:25:25
perhaps it was just me....
just some of the things you wrote (i think something to the effect of (and i'm not quoting you word for word, but to the effect of 'you're not in jail, doing drugs, that ruins your life' made me feel like perhaps even though i'm not in jail (or maybe i am???) i've done things in the past...
nevermind.
perhaps jsut a gentle reminder that some people do things and prefer to call them life experiences, not ruining of lives or call themselves 'losers'.
i do have friends who have lived on the streets before, due to drugs, among other things (alcohol as well). i'd hesitate to call them losers. i'd also hesitate to call myself a loser if i were to wind up on the street due to circumstances, whether it be drugs, liquor, dirty women (god forbid), flashing a cop (hey, i didn't know it was a cop!), relashionships with murderers (hey, i didn't know he was a murder!). i could have ended up on the street just as easily as the safe house i live in today.
well, you get the idea. i'm off my soapbox now.
Posted by Michael83 on April 16, 2007, at 16:07:36
In reply to Re: hey!!!! » Michael83, posted by karen_kay on April 16, 2007, at 9:10:47
Well a lot of people have tried drugs, that's no big deal. The imagery I had in my head when I wrote that was those people, wandering the streets, you know, with the pop cans sprayed with paint and the paint all under their nose. I mean true druggies. I wasn't referring to someone who may have had just a "little problem" years ago. A lot of good people sway the wrong way for a brief time.
Posted by Fivefires on April 16, 2007, at 16:09:20
In reply to Re: I feel like a loser » Michael83, posted by Deneb on April 15, 2007, at 21:41:00
Wow.
Me too, Deneb ...
I mean I know how u feel, or 'were feeling',
but what's cool is the way u told Michael u were sorry for scaring him
That's right on top of things, yet so simple.
Today I feel overwhelmed and angry and I think I'm gonna' get kicked off the site any minute now, so, see ya Deneb.
It really has made a difference in my life to know you.
I forget who I am.
Posted by gardenergirl on April 17, 2007, at 8:52:38
In reply to I feel like a loser *trigger*, posted by Deneb on April 15, 2007, at 0:40:11
Deneb,
All you can do is be the best you you can be. You get to set the standards. You get to evaluate. You get to enjoy knowing and loving yourself.You are special. You are unique. There are no other Deneb's out there. Just you. And you are special, unique, lovable, and cherished just as you are.
(((((Deneb)))))
Namaste
gg
Posted by gardenergirl on April 17, 2007, at 8:53:53
In reply to Re: hey!!!! » Michael83, posted by karen_kay on April 16, 2007, at 9:10:47
Posted by gardenergirl on April 17, 2007, at 8:59:51
In reply to Re: I feel like a loser *trigger* » Deneb, posted by Michael83 on April 15, 2007, at 19:47:11
> ruin your life at age 24 (unless you're in jail or something).
> Those people are losers.
Please don't post anything that could lead others to feel accused or put down. If you or others have questions about this or about posting policies in general, or are interested in alternative ways of expressing yourself, please first see the FAQ:
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#civil
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/faq.html#enforceFollow-ups regarding these issues should be directed to Psycho-Babble Administration and should of course be civil. Dr. Bob has oversight over deputy decisions, and he may choose a different action. If you wish, you can appeal this decision to him.
Namaste
gg, acting as deputy
Posted by Kath on April 17, 2007, at 14:51:20
In reply to Re: I feel like a loser *trigger*, posted by Deneb on April 15, 2007, at 0:49:51
> I'm happy when I earn a reward dollar at work (to collect for free stuff),
*******Important words there: "I'm happy" - GOOD*****
> I sleep in until 1 PM, surf the web and work on Bob's hat, go to work, come home to surf the web and work on Bob's hat and I feel content.
*********Important words there: "I feel content." - GOOD*****> How can I be happy living my life in loserdom?
>
> Yet I'm strangely happy. I shouldn't be.******What the F*** Deneb - Sh*t - so you're happy and you're saying you shouldn't be??!!
YO Deneb!!!!!! Puleeeez enjoy the happiness & contentment rather than try to be down on yourself for BEING happy!!!!! YO!!!Who gets to judge about what makes folks happy???
I think you're darned fortunate to be able to feel simple pleasure from simple, honest, wholesome things!! Sheeeeeesh....tell that inside mean-to-yourself Deneb to take a deep breath & button her lip. Tell her that you DESERVE to be HAPPY & NOBODY (not even she) has the right to put you down for your happiness.
************
>
> I'm confused. I don't want to die. I like my life, even though I'm unsuccessful.
>
> Deneb**********Well Deneb, I don't mean to be negative & I know you DID put a 'trigger' on your post. For someone who doesn't want to die & who likes your life, it's my observation that you're pretty quick to make huge statements about offing yourself! My son HAD a noose made, so yes, it is somewhat of a trigger to hear you talking about hanging yourself one post & the next saying you like life & don't want to die!
I'm not criticzing you Deneb, but I do want to point that out!!!I send you hugs & will continue reading the posts in this thread.... luv, Kath
PS - I hope you're feeling better & of course seeing your sister, who's in a very different situation from you might trigger you to feel 'less than'. Doesn't mean you are! You are taking a breather in your life...you're doing non-stressful things & having some time for yourself. You might not end up doing these things forEVER, but He** - you're doing them now & GOOD FOR YOU!! Ease up on yourself, OK? ****
Posted by Gabbi-2 on April 19, 2007, at 17:26:21
In reply to Re: hey!!!! » karen_kay, posted by Michael83 on April 16, 2007, at 16:07:36
wow
Now it's my turn to say "call me idealistic"
I had actually forgotten that their are still people who don't consider what may have happened to "good people" children,those brought up to feel worthless..those whose suffered hideous abuse, or more subtle continual prejudice, mental illness, things that may have made drugs seem like the only relief.
It takes more than having a job and/or being able to hide your addiction (hey, it could be money, it could be beating up homeless people, )to be a good person.And no, I'm not a "druggie" nor am I homeless, and I have what you could call a job,though I haven't always, it's *luck* not virtue.
I'd prefer a conscientious (or even not so conscientious) druggie to someone who has a high paying job perpetuating environmental disaster, or pandering to institutionalized economic disparity *any day*I actually feel sick..
Posted by Gabbi-2 on April 19, 2007, at 17:31:11
In reply to Thanks for saying that. (nm) » karen_kay, posted by gardenergirl on April 17, 2007, at 8:53:53
Oh heh, guess I should have read that first.
Everything I wanted to say except in nice..Yes, thank so much KK I think maybe my stomach will unknot now..
Posted by karen_kay on April 20, 2007, at 8:54:42
In reply to Re: Thanks for saying that. » gardenergirl, posted by Gabbi-2 on April 19, 2007, at 17:31:11
i'm not the only lucky one!
i've gotten very lucky. when my house burned down, i could have very easily ended up on the street.
no one in my family offered a place to live (not even my husband's family, but i woudl have prefered the street anyway, considering his mother was extremely depressed and consdiering we lost everything that day she was complaining about how bad ehr life was while i was earing no bra and still smelled of twenty something years of accumulated burnt sh*t).
not that that's the only way either. when my father developed cancer adn couldn't work, my whole family could have ended up on the street (bosses can be real jerks. they fired him right before christmas.) no, no boo hoo hoo's here. just saying, in life things happen.
then again, i've doen many illegal things that could have landed me in jail, on the streets ro even dead (see, i'm more likely to stalk than to be stalked dear. but, stalking that murder did save my life. he killed 2 people and i swear i didn't know, but being a drama queen at 19 saved my life, i like to think, because he didn't kill me and he could have easily done so, especially when i was sleeping right enxt to him. and i didn't really stalk him. it's just a joke, just 19 year old angst.) but, i've been known to do some illegal drugs in my time. i'm still known to (hello, i think i begin every single post with 'i'm a pill head').
and if i had a spray can i'd probably have red spray paint under my nose this very moment.
sometimes in life, we need to cope. soem of us do it with affairs. with spending sprees. with drugs. with food. with no food. with internet addictions. various other things.
and we can end up in various places. some end up billionaires. some end up president of the us (geez, that shoudl have been me!). some end up on the streets. but, we're all people. but, i tend to think that a small turn of events could change everythign and any of us could end up on the streets. (with that fire, it really brought that to my attention, even though i've always thought that. i'm quite surprised i didn't end up on the streets at that point actually.)
good lord, yesterday was pay day. maybe i'll go get that spray can today. well, perhaps i'll go make the car payment instead? guess that huffing buzz will have to wait untill next week....thanks gabbi. for posting. for being you. for making me feel not so alone. just tell me you had a brief affair with a murder as well (and i swear on my duckie i had no clue until i got a call from the police! see, putting out can save your life!)
This is the end of the thread.
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