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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
bob@dr-bob.orgShown: posts 1 to 9 of 9. This is the beginning of the thread.
Posted by Michael83 on November 10, 2006, at 21:05:28
To those reading, a good friend of mine is now trying to get involved in Mormonism (not the same friend I mentioned a month or so again). Don't get me wrong, Mormons are some of the nicest people I've ever met. I've read about it extensively and the religion itself concerns me.
She doesn't know it, but I love her, and I don't want what happened to me (see my first post on babble about it on 5/18/06, on the Psychology board) to happen to her.
My whole body is shaking right now, I'm so scared for her. I'm not scared of dying tonight, thankfully, which is my usual fear.
I'm simply scared for another human being whom I love. I don't want her to feel the pain I did.
Sometimes I wish I wasn't so nice and loving, maybe life is easier for mean people.
Even when I read some of posts on this board, I become attached to some of you because I don't want you to go through the things we seem to go through. I think about many of you, and everyone in general sometimes when I'm doing well, hoping that you could feel the relief I am feeling for that moment. And on the flip side, when I'm down, I read the board and I feel like I'm sort of "on your team," like I'm one of you, because I certainly am 100%.
How do I convince my friend to slow down with this?
How do I save my friend from what I went through?
She says to believe by "faith," not logic. How am I supposed to refute a intellectually self-defeating argument?
Ok, I even forgot what I was originally going to ask in this post, I just needed to vent. I'm so nervous and freaking out right now. Luckily I'm not fearful of dying, that's an intense fear no one should have to go through.
I'm just scared for someone I love. Someone I'm in love with.
It's like I'm somehow purposely being targeted and punished, taking someone I love.....and you know.
I don't mean to offend anyone. But I need to vent. I wrote this an "unoffending" as I could out of respect for Bob's rules. I have love and respect for people of all faiths, it's the belief itself that worries me. Because I know, I've lived it and unless you have too, don't tell me I'm wrong. My intense fears and obsessions during the height of my incidents have intellectually taken me to places most haven't and given my previously unimaginable perspectives, so don't tell me I "don't get it." I was very lucky to be given the ability (I call it "mental software") to see things in so many perspectives and so thoroughly, I'm very thankful for that, but it has also haunted me for a long time because I'm immune to many of the mental shields our brains create to keep us mentally stable.
One of my heros, Thomas Paine (18th century writer who is probably single handedly responsible for the United States existing today) once said...
"The world is my country, all mankind are my brethren, and to do good is my religion."
That's the only "religious philosophy" that's ever made sense to me.
But I still feel like a train wreck. But outside of this incident (that actually happened just today), I've been doing good. So. I'm done rambling now, thanks for listening if you stayed this far. Even if I don't say it, I appreciate it so much.
Posted by Phillipa on November 10, 2006, at 21:20:38
In reply to What did I do to deserve this? I don't need this., posted by Michael83 on November 10, 2006, at 21:05:28
Do you have a link to your thread on psychology? Love Phillipa
Posted by Michael83 on November 10, 2006, at 21:26:08
In reply to Re: What did I do to deserve this? I don't need this. » Michael83, posted by Phillipa on November 10, 2006, at 21:20:38
Sure. You might see it and say "oh that one," I've referenced it a few times before.
http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060517/msgs/645388.html
I wrote this when I was in my 2nd major panic attack, but thankfully it was nothing as serious as the original attack that started it all years ago. It only lasted 4 or 5 days and I consider myself 99% recovered (only the occasional panic, lasting for only a minute or two, almost always only at night). Nothing I can't handle, many people go through much worse so I shouldn't complain.
But I was panicky today from my what I posted about above. I'll be fine tomorrow morning, nothing super serious, I'm just scared for someone I love.
Posted by Phillipa on November 10, 2006, at 21:36:43
In reply to Re: What did I do to deserve this? I don't need t, posted by Michael83 on November 10, 2006, at 21:26:08
I feel you have to let your girfriend form her own opinions on her Faith. Not discounting your fear. But it's her choice. Have you seen a pdoc since the panic happened. I think it might be a good idea to either see a pdoc or get into theraphy. I'm sorry I can't change her mind. Love Phillipa but know I care about you and your feelings.
Posted by Michael83 on November 11, 2006, at 7:19:25
In reply to Re: What did I do to deserve this? I don't need t » Michael83, posted by Phillipa on November 10, 2006, at 21:36:43
She's not my girlfriend, just a close friend. Glad she's not my girlfriend, I'd have a real panic attack, lol.
I have never seen a pdoc, but in the future if things go bad again I will consider it. Overall I'm doing well enough so that I don't need it. This was just an unexpected "bad spot," outside of this I've been doing well.
I'm not sure if I was looking for any specific answers, just needed to vent/get feedback for my situation. It really helps to vent situations like that sometimes. But thanks for reading.
Posted by TexasChic on November 11, 2006, at 19:25:11
In reply to Re: What did I do to deserve this? I don't need t, posted by Michael83 on November 10, 2006, at 21:26:08
I can totally empathize with you (on many levels). If someone I felt that way about suddenly embraced a belief I strongly disagreed with, I would completely freak! It doesn't matter what that belief is.
I don't think there's anyway you can change her mind, or that you should even try. Religious beliefs are a deeply personal matter that has to be decided within oneself.
I think the question is, can you accept this new part of her? If not, maybe you are more in love with your idea of her than the actual person? Just a thought (from someone who should be giving absolutely no advice on relationships).
-T
Posted by Phillipa on November 12, 2006, at 16:23:27
In reply to Re: What did I do to deserve this? I don't need t » Michael83, posted by TexasChic on November 11, 2006, at 19:25:11
T but it's good advise. Love Phillipa
Posted by Michael83 on November 12, 2006, at 19:00:49
In reply to Re: What did I do to deserve this? I don't need t » Michael83, posted by TexasChic on November 11, 2006, at 19:25:11
I'm more "worried" than "in disagreement."
If it was something more mainstream, I would have no problem. I'm just worried for her
>>>can you accept this new part of her?
I'm not sure. The worry over her being negatively tampered with in some way is already stressing me out enough.
Posted by finelinebob on November 23, 2006, at 18:07:03
In reply to Re: What did I do to deserve this? I don't need t » TexasChic, posted by Michael83 on November 12, 2006, at 19:00:49
The Belief-O-Matic: http://www.beliefnet.com/story/76/story_7665_1.html
Really, I'm serious. My soon-to-be-former employer, Beliefnet, has a lot of great information for "spiritual seekers" and this quiz is kind of a Myers-Briggs scale for matching your spiritual beliefs to that of many different world religions. I know of one person who is a Quaker because in seeking a faith most consistent with his beliefs, the Belief-O-Matic pointed him towards the Quakers.
So, see if she'll put her beliefs to the test as a favor for you. And should the results point towards the Mormons, be happy for her.
We all walk different paths.
This is the end of the thread.
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